Me, Myself and I

Are you there Dad, it's only me xx

2011-11-13T22:04:00.002Z

Ahhh. It's being a long 6 months since my Dad died and most of the days have been good and then some days have been downright awful. You never know how hard it'll hit till it happens. My Dad was almost 90 but even that has not made it easier.

So I''ll send him a little message. ( Please humour me, no one really reads the blogs now anyway :)

Hey Dad, we are all good. Would be better if we had just one more conversation. Your granddaughter is doing well at school, amazingly she is also doing well in gymnastics and in music. Those talents must have skipped so many generations!!

Your grandson will be 2 next week. A bit worried as he is not speaking yet. Could you have a word with God and him, please? It does worry me immensely.

Remembrance Sunday was quite moving today as I could finally feel what others who have lost someone feels. An empty hole that you hope will fill up in time but gets smaller but never really goes away.

O digbe re, Ipade doju ala. Love you Pops.

Bye Daddy

2011-05-31T22:11:00.002Z

On the 7th of May, my darling Dad went on ahead. You see, I was the last child for about 20 years and I absolutely loved my Daddy. We sometimes went for ages without speaking and then will speak regularly. It all happened so quickly as Dad gave us 7 days to bury him so I had to go to Nigeria in a mad hurry.

A few months ago, Dad phoned and said his favourite slippers were on their way out. I had bought him 2 pairs as he liked them and wore them everyday and both pairs lasted about 7 years. So I began my search for another pair and could not find them anywhere. I sent a replacement and he said they were a bit tight and I said they would stretch as they were leather. He also wanted some underwear and I got him 6 sets. When we went to pick Dad up on the morning of the wake keeping, they dressed him and put him in one of the underwear sets I sent home. I wish I had dropped a note in the coffin, though I am not sure what I would have written on it.

On top of my freezer, I think I have a pack of Clan tobacco. Dad used to smoke a pipe and that smell in an air conditioned room transports me back. I forgot to send them home in the last parcel and was going to send them with the next person going home. One day when I am strong enough, I will burn a bit of the tobacco just to smell my dad.

I spoke to him the day before he died, and I knew he could hear me but I could not really hear him. My last words were, ,"I will call you in the morning. I love you Daddy" We always ended our phone calls with me saying "I love you Daddy" and my Dad will say "Thank you". You see, he was old school and would never say I love you. Instead he showed it. I remember my love of reading started because my Dad always made me read and bought me loads of books. He used to get me the encyclopedia for my age set and I am still looking for the set I had when I was about 7. He used to read to me and our favourite shared book was King Solomons mines. I read the book every couple of years and I am due another read but I cannot bring myself to read it. One day, I might.

Dad was always huge on education and effort. Apparently, I have his hands and look the most like him. Can't really see it myself but I find myself looking in the mirror now trying to spot all the similarities. For now, I have good days where I function well enough and then desperately bad days, where waking up is such a chore. It hurts so violently and I find myself wishing I could just hide away for a while. But life must go on and the children need me.

My overriding fear is that I will forget the sound of his voice and all his little quirks. He had a habit of fiddling with his ring and tapping it whenever he was bored. He always walked very fast and I remember running after him, trying to keep up with his strides when he was going to the office. I used to go along to read and drink tea and biscuits with the secretary. He had an expressive smile and deep belly laugh and he used to eat pounded yam with a fork and knife. For an Ondo man, he never ate with his hands :)

I wish I did not believe in God so much as I desperately want to consult a psychic. I just want to say hello and have Dad say hello back. Is that too much to ask?

Where has the year gone???

2010-11-28T09:20:00.000Z

Anybody out there??

Time really flies when you are having fun or in my case severely sleep deprived. Fems is one year old now. Yikes, can't believe I have been away from here for this long. I blame the demise of most of my favourite bloggers and the lack of time to discover news ones.

Sooooo, fill me in on all the gist, please, please, please. Till I catch up, I have to live vicariously through all of you.

Will pop in again. Snow has been forecast for London. Hoping it won't affect Lopes' party. She will be 7 soon. Na wah o. I am becoming an old mum. All's good sha.

Will be back soon xx

And we have a baby.....

2009-12-24T13:03:00.000Z

Boy :)

Born almost 5 weeks ago weighing 6lbs. Lopes is absolutely enamoured and if he had a penny for every kiss from her, he would give Bill Gates a run for his money!

He will be known as Thomas which is the name Lopes gave him when I was pregnant. I found out it means Twin and never has a name being so true. He looks so much like her when she was his age and they even have the same mannerisms. So far, 2-nil as none of my children look like me. As we are not having any more, I guess I have to be happy that my children have my complexion! With each pregnancy, we prayed that God should take the best from each parent and add whatever we are lacking in to give us the best package. Needless to say, none of my children have my temper! Thank God for that, as I am the trouble maker in our household!

So apart from sleep deprivation an Thomas creating his own hole in the ozone layer due to his wind from both ends, we are getting ready for Christmas.

In the meantime. Lopes turned 6 and had a lovely party when Thomas was 2 weeks. Not bad after a complicated section with forceps!

So 4 weeks later, I am at least 4kgs less than I was just after I had him. Off for last minute Christmas shopping. Tree not up yet and it's Christmas eve!

Enjoy. Eat, drink and be merry, for tomorrow the merriment continues!

Steve Harvey introduction to Jesus

2009-09-30T09:02:00.001Z

I love this clip :)

Bank Holiday at the Lopes

2009-08-31T12:29:00.003Z

Lopes:

“I don’t know what I want to be, A doctor, a dentist, a hairdresser, a p.e teacher, a teacher or just a mummy. But a mummy is boring. That’s what you are, just a mummy”

Ouch, says mummy who has 2 jobs as an analyst, runs an online business and is also “Just a mummy”

Later as she was about to make herself some toast, she asked where the bread was. I said it was in a carrier bag in the kitchen as I had brought it out of the bread bin earlier. After looking for about 10 minutes, (I need to tell you how she looks for things; just like I did as a child) she came back annoyed that it was not in a carrier bag but out of the bag. I apologised and she said, “Don’t worry, you were just confused”

Oh dear. I must be doing something wrong.

Then again, I must be doing something right as she wrote me this note.

"I love you mummy, you are the best mummy in the whole world. Tolu, Daddy and baby." This is verbatim but she kept asking me how to spell world. Her writing is getting better and it is something I definitely want to improve as my handwriting is absolutely illegible!

Back to her searching abilities.

When I was younger, my mum would send me to her room to get something. After searching for 2 minutes, I would go back downstairs and say I did not find it. I will get sent back up to look again, then go back down to say I did not find it. Depending on how much patience my mum had at the time, I would get sent back a few times but it always ended with a threat that if she came upstairs and found it, I was in deep trouble. I usually found it after that! Now history is repeating itself. My mum says it’s payback time. Also added to payback time is Lope’s inability to eat “wet” cereal which means she has a bowl of dry cereal and a glass of milk on the side!

One thing I refuse to add to payback is Lopes' ability to give a running commentary on absolutely everything. Men, can she talk and sometimes it gets a bit too wearing and I find myself going to hide in the Loo which gives me a minute before she demands what I am doing there.

She has just come back with 2 slices of toast and 2 plates. Each slice of toast has it’s own plate! I started getting her to do things as my mum came back from staying with my sister and was so upset that her 17 year old grandson could not make a cup of tea. She was around to tak my sister on holiday for her 50^th and was even more annoyed that no one else in the house could work the washing machine.

Here in the Lopes abode, it’s everyman for himself. BabaLopes does his own laundry as he does not trust me to do it as he likes. He is fussy about temperatures and detergents and fabric conditioner while I am happy that a wash is complete if it has clothes, detergent and conditioner. He, on the other hand, has different detergents for different fabrics and I have too many loads to wash so everything gets washed at 40 degrees with non-bio detergent and sensitive fabric conditioner.

I am digressing every which way. Anyway, GrandmaLopes asked Lopes to make some toast and I was so sure that she won’t have a clue. Boy was I wrong! As well as Lopes talking 19 to the dozen she follows everything going on around her with eagle eyes. She is getting quite resourceful and loves washing the doors and floors (of her own free will, before I get reported to child services) and is beginning to ask if she can load the dishwasher :)

Any errors on this posting are due to two things. My brain is going too fast and I just poured a full cup of water on my laptop keyboard.

PS. Just had to add this from Lopes. "Mummy do you want millions, gazillions or amenity"??? Apparently amenity is not a number but a kind of number. The largest one. I think she means infinity!

Deep thoughts

2009-07-04T23:40:00.002Z

And I thought I had escaped deep introspections for a while as I had the baby to think about.

Went out to a friend's for a dinner party with a subset of my sista friends. Deep questions that made me think about certain things for the first time and this song sums up my thoughts..

I hope some good answers come through and that they do not lead to more questions.

Off to bed. It's 12.42am and I am teaching in Sunday School tomorrow :) That will definitely cheer me up. Children have a way about making things easier.

Metamorphosis

2009-06-27T02:42:00.002Z

Lopes found a caterpillar a couple of weeks ago and decided to study the life cycle of a butterfly/moth.

So we put it in a container with a leaf and the next day, it had wrapped itself up in a corner of the leaf and sealed itself in. Must have been an old caterpillar!

We diligently checked it and then BabaLopes told us it was probably dead as the leaf was so dry and we should have watered it. So we forgot about it.

Last night, Lopes brought me the container and it had the loveliest moth in it. The moth was dead. That brought a tear to my eye. Gone before it had a chance to really spread it's wings and lived most of it's life in a container, being poked and prodded and called upon to entertain.

Reminds me of Michael Jackson. The Great MJ. Thank you for the music. Now you can rest.

My Precious First Born

2009-06-27T02:19:00.003Z

It's 3.19am and I am awake. 2 reasons. First, the night wake up calls to wee and Lopes woke up. Bad dream about the police!

Over the last couple of months, once I found out that we were having a baby, I have looked at Lopes in a different light. I am lucky because she really wanted a sibling and used to pray about it every night, I am just sad that our days of Mum and Lopes only will soon be over. So, I have let her get away with many things, especially as I do not want her to feel left out. She must stop coming to our bed at night though. Not sure there will be space for 4 of us, but I am sure she will find a way. I find myself watching her with a wry smile as she sleeps and wondering where the last 5 and a half years have gone. While trying to get her to go back to sleep after her police nightmare, she opened her sleepy eyes and said "Your face is so beautiful Mummy and I like the sound of your voice". I must find a way to reserve some Mum and Lopes days after MiniLopes is born.

Last night, tv was awash with programmes about Michael Jackson and Tolu had 101 questions. I said he died because he had a poorly heart and it was his time to go. Luckily she did not connect that she was born with a poorly heart as I don't think we ever actively mentioned it. She did mention that she was poorly sometimes and did not die. I ended up searching for the We are the world song on youtube and she then told me to write out the chorus and the fact that Michael Jackson had died. She wondered whey we never got to see him when he was alive and demanded that we go to North America just in case.

Now there's a thought. Find out sex of baby, Shopping in North America over the summer holidays. Hmmm...

It's not 3.41am. Time for snack.

And the news from our end...

2009-06-18T15:31:00.001Z

It is official. KML is with child (How twee is that??)

I have not really being away from Blogsville. I was just updating a hidden blog which I will unhide today. KML TTC

Funny how life seems to stop when you are not feeling well but it is off now with renewed vigour. Still not enough energy and strange eating patterns but we are fine.

BabaLopes is bemused and has become the chief cook and bottlewasher. More of the bottlewasher really and Lopes is as pleased as punch. Her prayers are to blame for all this. Thank God for the mercy he had on me as he did no grant Lopes her wish as she wanted TWINS. You wan kill me!

I have noticed that a few of my beloved blogs have gone awol or simply vanished. Will be off to search for some more.

I do need refresher courses as I have forgotten everything that I learnt with Lopes. Will happily accept offers of food and love and attention. Come on, you know you want to. I love fish and chicken and since MamaKemi arrived on Monday, fried stewed goat meat.

Off to digest my Amala and ewedu.

It's been a while

2009-03-01T18:07:00.002Z

Yikes!! It has been that long???

So sorry for the break in transmission. I promise to blog at least once a month and vist all frequent haunts and leave comments. Most of my blog roll blogs have gone and left me. So not fair!

So what have the Lopes Appreciation society up to??

Lopes is enjoying school and doing us proud.
BabaLopes is just the bees knees and I am fine and dandy. I guess there is no great angst that requires unburdening at this time so the blog has not longingly called me to it's bosom.

I got a job! Well okay, another job so now I work 3 days at one and have combined my previous hours with my original employer to 1 day. So I work, 4 days a week. 2 days in the office and 2 days at home and I still run my business. More fool me. I have to stop and praise full time working mums. Being a mum is a full time job but to add external work, is nothing short of madness. I am enjoying it and loved it even more when the first paycheque hit my account. I must admit that it seems like money for nothing really as I am enjoying the job and the work, while being a stretch, is right up my excel/access/database street. It was always my motto to work like a rat and eat like an elephant.

Talking about elephants, nice link, I am sure I look like a small one. Fell off the wagon very slowly but determined not to take as much time to get back on. Will be dusting off the wii fit in the next day or so.

So due to the fact that I now work hard, I have a lady who comes in one day a week so she is home when Lopes gets homes from school. Coming home the last time she was here was a blast. Left work early so I could miss the dreaded traffic on the North Circular and got home to a nice gleaming house, Tolu out of her school clothes and fed and the general air that meant I could just come in and lounge. Finally getting to the life I was born to live.

Driving is going well and I can now confirm that I am road rager. I do get angry when people come up beside me in traffic and cut in. My question to them is "Do you thing I came to sell peanuts here?" followed by a race to the finish. I win most times but will not encourage myself. Not good for the blood pressure. No more crashes and no points, though I am sure I was in a bus lane a month ago. Hopefully their cameras were awash with rain.

Hope anyone who experienced the great snowstorm of London at the beginning of February had a great time. We stayed at home, built snowmen and basically took time out. Was great to recharge our batteries. I leave you with the second thing Lopes said to us this morning after she crept into our bed. Happy New Month. (The first was Happy New Year!)

(Ignore any errors. Hands moving faster than brain and no time to edit. Off for bedtime routine. New week ahead and still loads to do)

Our promise list for 2009

2008-12-31T18:23:00.002Z

KML
I promise not to tell Lopes to shut up.

Lopes
I promise to listen to my mummy and not sing loudly when she is on the phone as this prompts her to tell me to "Shut up" and that is a rude word.

There. Our resolutions done.

It's been a while since my last post. I have not taken to drinking hard liqueur, well not too much of it. Still a lot unresolved and I am really unsure as to where I want to get to or if I want to get there.

Therefore, I have labelled 2008, my Annus Horribilis Mirabilis. The latin bit comes from my upbringing in the Catholic Church! Actually the term I used was A CRAP YEAR. But not wanting to be ungrateful to God, the Mirabilis, wonder and miracles, bit was appended as I do have a lot to be grateful to God for. I am still here driving happily and have not crashed in a while. Lopes is flourishing at school and just turned 5. We had a high school Musical party which was great fun and I had the opportunity to show off my lack of hula hooping skills in front of all Lopes' friends and their mums and dads.

So roll on 2009. Things will get better and as my grandfather ZMN used to say "And this too shall pass"

Here's to a lovely end of year and wishing you all you wish for yourselves and more in 2009.

Just there. Also titled: A little madness is good for the soul

2008-11-01T09:36:00.004Z

Darkness, Despair all deep in the pit. No more fight in the not so old gal. "Just there".

I try and fail to feel anything and then trying seems such a chore. I spoke and spoke and nobody heard and then I spoke no more. I used to think the thoughts and then one day, nothing. Not a single thought. Even when I tried hard, the grey cells just refused to ignite.

Hmm. What to do now? The almighty impasse. I used to think of ways back before the journey,
But now I am "Just there". What happened to the little fighter, the one who always echoed "And this too shall pass"? She passed on, or was it just the fight that died? Hope was always there when called upon but I have not seen the old friend in a while.

My eyes are open, yet I see nothing, the words are there, yet they do not come forth to comfort me. I feel the coldness and I do not even crave the warmth anymore. Too much effort needed to light the fire. Resignation is paramount, resistance is futile. Tears fall but then only for a moment and they too, gone too soon before they make a difference.

Cold, cloying cold, has been seeping in for so long and has become the norm. It now feels good to be told, no scratch that, nothing feels anything anymore. My very being seems separated from me and is floating in the ether. At the edge looking down and nothing holds me back. What would it be like to just let go, what would it be like to fly away?

I remain unmoved, unyielding, again "Just there" For now.....

Please sell me some fish

2008-10-31T15:57:00.008Z

No not obokun or tilapia :) Just some goldfish.

5 years ago, when we moved into our home, my sister gave me a brand new fish tank. BabaLopes always had highfalutin plans like making holes in walls and embedding things while I think we should just put it on a stand. So for 5 years the tank languished on top of the fridge/freezer while we tried to reach a compromise.

Please let me digress a bit. The fridge/freezer in question is one of those huge American fridge freezers that dispense water and ice. How I wish it will clean itself and make dinner. Anyway, when the freezer men delivered the freezer, we noticed that the door could not open fully as there was a wall in the way. My solution: Return it and buy a smaller more sensible fridge. BabaLopes' solution: Break down a piece of the wall in the way and refuse to do the finishing touches for yonks afterwards. So you see my wahala with installing anything new. Same with the new telly, I agreed we could drill holes in the wall, put a new bracket it and hang the telly on the wall but I refused to have any holes in the wall for the wires to be embedded in the wall. Digression over.

As we had half term looming, I realised that I could not be the only source of entertainment in the house and decided to set up the fish tank and get some fish as some sort of science lesson. Read up on the trusty google and realised it was not as simple as just filling up the tank with water and throwing a few fish in. You have to set up the water, gravel, plants and ornaments and put in a water treatment chemical and then let it all run for 7 days. Not one to listen to instructions, I just put the water in with the water treatment and then set it up to run. After a few days I realised that the inbuilt filter was not working and decided to get a standalone replacement and the ornaments and gravel.

So I met Gav at the pet shop and £40 later we left the shop with some plants, gravel, a filter and an ornament in which the fish can hide when they are bored of being looked at. Got home, set it all up and then today, 5 days later, decided to go and get some fish. I saw Gav again and blatantly ignored his offer of help in case he remembered us. He did, came up and refused to sell me fish even tough I was economical with the truth and pretended we had tested the water and all was fine with the water. He said No. I did point out that dead fish meant more business for them, but he still refused to sell me the fish and told me to come back on Monday! (Note to self. You can't lie to save your life so don't even try!) Hmph.

Ah well, I had to make some chocolate crispies with sweeties on top as entertainment in lieu of goldfish.

Ps. We went to get goldfish. But they had at least 12 tanks with all sorts of coldwater fish. I want some algae eaters that stick to the tank, keeping it clean and Lopes wants pink fish. Help! Any suggestions welcome. I have told Lopes that fish do not last forever so she is expecting them all to die after a month and we have a budget for fish replacement.

Today at work I updated my blog :)

2008-10-22T14:22:00.004Z

I am sitting at my desk at work and wondering if there is a better place to be at the moment. Under the duvet at home with Lopes is one place I would love to be. She is on half term, 2 whole weeks, and did not want me to go to work today. It’s getting cold so I have been drinking copious cups of tea and hot chocolate. I tend not to drink coffee as the caffeine is a real drug and makes me speak my mind more than usual. More drinks mean more visits to the bathroom and so I take my phone with me and surf the net and lately have been tempted to set the alarm and have a nap! Our bathrooms are quite salubrious which is very surprising and have full length doors, none of those western saloon type doors that makes it easy for people to sneak a peek or catch a whiff if you know what I mean!

Lopes is doing well at school but I have been told that the legendary lower lip has made a couple of appearances. You see, Lopes is a master sulker and shoots out her lower lip when she wants to promote a semblance of tears or simply does not want to do as she is told. Her teacher has mentioned that her participation in some things is entirely her choice and if she is further cajoled to participate, the lower lip comes out. I was tempted to cost the school on a per day basis but that won’t really help me. I did cost my university education on a per lecture basis as I was beginning to slide and miss lectures. My parents were paying overseas fees and here was I sleeping away their hard earned cash. Once I calculated the cost per lecture, I never missed one again. See where I got my love for numbers.

Talking about money, Lopes seems to think that anything can be bought with the money from her piggy bank. I am beginning to believe it as she manages to take money from her dad and myself and says she is keeping it for us. I have taken to raiding her piggybank for change to pay the bin wash man as I never seem to have the £2 coins handy. As I always seem to find money there, I am beginning to think she has a secret she needs to share with me. The Credit crunch would be sorted then by Lopes’ oinking piggy bank. She actually has 3 piggy banks so I will be keeping the other 2 as my pension fund.

Re: the Credit Crunch, my mum has taken to calling me with snippets of news she gathers on her DSTV channels. God help us with all the negative news. I refuse to believe that it is as bad as it is being painted. What rankles, however, is the call to cut back. I have always shopped clever and love my share of bargains and so far the only way I have found to cut back is to make sure the lights are turned off. I used to be quite bad with leaving lights on. I will not compromise on the heating and refuse to shiver and wear my woollies indoors.

I have, thanks to my crochet-mad friend Omara, resurrected my love of knitting. I started knitting a sweater about 18 years ago and sort of left it halfway done when I started University. Never had the heart to throw it away and can’t finish it as the pattern was for a size 12 and I am definitely not a size 12 top anymore. To think I thought I was big then! My first assignment is a scarf for Lopes and I will be posting my results here soon. My weight is beginning to creep back up but I am now slowly getting back in control. As I have stopped walking since I started driving and started eating foolishly since my mum came and left, the fat cells are in a conspiracy against me but I am getting back into the groove. Was never really a happy fatty.

I have discovered Facebook under my real life persona and have found so many of my old friends but very useless at making new friends. Don’t really see the point of having too many new friends. Anti-social me. What I don’t understand is why people feel the need to ask you to be one of their friends when you have nothing, except another friend, in common. People have been known to get offended if you do not accept them. Bullying on the internet. No I do not want to be your friend and I do not want to be anything more, no matter how cute my profile picture is. The same goes for Skype!

So on a jolly note, it’s 64 days to Christmas and 71 days till the New Year and I have nothing planned. Not sure where we will be, London or Lagos and just going with the flow. What I will not be doing this time around is my year end introspection. Send me all your plans and I just might tag along :) I do have a party to plan in December. Lopes will be 5 and she has been planning her party since her last one. We will be grooving to songs from High School Musical 1, 2 and maybe 3 as that comes out in the UK today. In case anyone is coming from America to London with space in their suitcase, please let me know. I have party things to order. I have been told that I get carried away with the party planning but I absolutely love it. I think I love it too much and it became very apparent when a mum with the girl in Lopes’ class suggested that we share the party as the girls’ birthdays are quite close. In my head, I was screaming “Don’t want to share, it’s my party!” Common sense prevailed and I picked up the toys I had thrown out of my pram and acted like I was an adult which was no fun.

Postscript

Okay this was typed over 3 hours, numerous spreadsheets have been analysed and I have made 2 trips to the bathroom and taken 2 phone calls. Thank God I am off work next week else I might just have quit. Bored, Bored, Bored. A cup of coffee might just push me over the edge. Off to make a brew. Over and Out

Hmph!

2008-10-11T08:38:00.003Z

So......

I know, have been too engrossed in the minutiae of ordinary life and now I am paying for it. School runs, coffee mornings, work, business etc etc. Missed all my blogs I regularly read and comment on but promise to make amends very soon.

Driving is still fun. I have driven up and down the M1 a couple of times on my own as Lopes tends to chatter and might be a tad distracting. Had great fun. Oh, have also reversed into a stationery junk truck, but thankfully not on the motorway. Slight prang in the rear of the car but the junk truck escaped unscathed. I have been told to expect a couple more prangs. Will be installing the gadget that beeps to warn of impending bumps. Already have a speed camera one as I am still a bit speedy. Wonder why I am always in a hurry!

All this talk about the credit crunch is worrying but in my house has been cause for amusement. Lopes brought down a box of cereal and renamed it credit crunch. This was after some friends and I were talking about it last night and I said in a positive confession, "We do not have credit crunch in this house" My daughter sought to prove me wrong :)

Overall mood for me is general disenchantment. A bit peeved at the mo with things happening around me and hoping the legendary Kemi Snap does not appear. It is never pretty and has only happened once before. Hmm. Sounds ominous eh?

Back to driving. Off again on aforementioned motorway with Lopes this time. Wish me luck.

So any gist for me? How have you all been? Calabar gal has upped and left.

First day at school

2008-09-04T09:38:00.002Z

Hopped out of bed at 6.45am, mixed the batter for pancakes as decreed by Lopes, mooched about a bit, made pancakes and then woke Lopes up. Quick shower, dress up and bribe Lopes with promises of treats to get her to eat her breakfast and then hopped into the car. Turned back, ran back inside to get glasses without which I am an even bigger hazard and zoom off to school. Missed the turn, turned round and sat in even more traffic and finally made it to school.

I wondered why some children and mums were sniffling and waved happily at Lopes and went back home. Then collapsed into a heap on the sofa and had a good cry! Off to bed, pick up just after noon as it's a half day.

Confessions of a Mad Driver

2008-09-03T14:19:00.001Z

I am absolutely loving the freedom driving gives me and I earnestly urge anyone out there who can't drive to get a move on. I confess to being an absolute prat for not driving earlier on and letting my irrational fear hold me to ransom. So I have driven everywhere on my own and with Lopes and even braved the motorway where I overtook a friend who I accused of driving too slowly! Before journeys with Lopes, I say extra prayers. I cannot promise not to wax lyrical about driving so apologies for the boredom my blog will no doubt cause. I now think of my life Before Driving (BD) and After Driving (AD)

A trip I made on Monday will be used to show the massive difference it has made.

BD.
Take Bus to station. Take Taxi to friend's house and ask driver to wait while I drop Lopes off and then take me to work. Fret about the needless amount of money spent. Finish work, take bus to station, get Taxi to friend's house, pick up Lopes, take taxi back to station and take bus home. Get so cross that I have spent over £35 on taxis and get home and eat loads of comfort food. Estimated time spent in transit. 2 hours

AD.
Drive to friend's house, get lost on the way and stop to key in address into Sat Nav. Realise that it is impossible to remember old directions or places I have been driven to at least one hundred times. (Note to self. Key in all addresses into Sat Nav memory) Drop Lopes off, drive to work, park in my newly alloted parking space, get lost in the multistorey car pack, (who thought it was clever to put the exit on level 3 instead of level 1??). Leave work, pick Lopes up and head home. Estimated time spent in transit. 30 minutes

Lopes starts school tomorrow. And so we decided to go and pick up all the little bits I had forgotten, get the car washed and go to lunch at Lopes' favourite chinese restaurant. In my rush, I left the keys inside the house and closed the door. Hot footed it to my inlaws who have a spare key, offering prayers and making promises to God after forgetting to slow down for a speed camera, picked up the spare key and then rushed back home. Found out to my utter consternation that the keys were on the inside of the door and so I could not open the door with the key outside. So what have I learnt today.... I can break into my own house with a spanner and file and brute force and long distance breaking and entering instructions from BabaLopes :) Now I need an alarm system!

PS, Huge bruise on my posterior. I guess weight loss has melted away some of the excess and so trying to bash the door down with my backside is now a thing of the past!

Home Alone :)

2008-08-28T19:41:00.000Z

Home Alone Diary.

Dropped Lopes at my sister's place on Tuesday evening after a mad dash day which started with my last driving lesson before my test on Thursday. Had to take Lopes with me as my childcare plans were thrown awry by good GSCE results for my niece. She decided to go for a party weekend. (Congrats to ZR and DD for excellent results)

So came back home and sat in the very untidy sitting room as we left in a rush. Caught up on phone calls and had dinner with an alcoholic drink and watched all the CSIs and Law and order. Fell asleep with my cordless headphones on. You must understand that I do not drink most times and never at home unless it's kind of social and never, ever when home with Lopes as I am the world's cheapest drunk and get inebriated by the vapours alone!

Woke up on Wednesday morning when the newspaper boy delivered the papers and actually read it from cover to cover for the first time in ages. Had a slice toast in bed complete with crumbs and then went back to bed. And then did absolutely nothing all day.

I think every Mum needs to declare one week a year, Mum Home Alone Week. Great to recharge batteries and just regroup before you start running on empty.

Thursday dawned and off to the test. Jitters, jitters and even more jitters. 40 minutes later and I could kiss the very patient examiner. I passed. Off to upgrade car insurance and revel in the fact that I can drive my daughter to school for her first day. Thank you, God.

A whole month has passed. Where has the time gone??

2008-08-22T08:49:00.004Z

So Mama Kemi arrived and brought sooooooo much food. Not too good for my weight update but I got to 88kgs and then ate fresh fish soup, ila asepo and more orisirisi. I feel the weight creeping back up and so have decided to hop back on the wagon. But then had moin moin and ogi for breakfast. A little of what you like is not bad for you, abi? Will not weigh myself again for a while, lest I eat more in fits of depression.

Statements/Questions I hear from MamaKemi almost everyday. What is Lopes going to eat? Has she had her protein, milk, snack ...

Do you have food in the freezer for your husband. What will he eat when he gets back

When I was raising children, we had a set routine. etc etc etc

And the list goes on. Might have to drink more brandy :)

Went shopping with my mum which cemented my hatred of shopping! Boy can my mum haggle. Went to her favourite fabric shop and got 3 5yd pieces of lace from £700 to £360 without blinking. I was cringing at the back of the shop trying to keep a straight face. We had fun though.

Lopes had 3 weeks of summer school and came away learning loads more words and her writing is great. Good feedback from the teachers but I hear she has a stubborn streak. The apple does not fall far from the tree. I was not a stubborn child but I am more than making up for it now :) We got our routine sorted so it'll be easy when she starts big school in 2 weeks. Note to self. Get out sewing kit and sew on name tags.

BabaLopes is still enjoying his sojourn in the land of Belge! I hate to admit that I do enjoy the solitude a bit too much. Lopes and I just get on with it and when I am asked if I miss him, the first answer is no. I do miss him but that does not define me or occupy my thoughts for long. Should the alarm bells start ringing?

Countdown to driving test underway. I am just a tad impatient at roundabouts and have been known to set off in a huff when cars are whizzing towards me. A lot of emergency braking by my instructor. I have told her to slap me next time but she has great restraint. Less than a week to go. Yikes. Just have to imagine the examiner in the buff and try not to crash into the cars for laughing.

So the very disjointed update from La Famiglia Lopes is done. Will be here next week to let you know how the test went. Better keep me in your good thoughts and prayers, else I will find you and put spiders in all your cereal boxes!

Why can't I think of a catchy title?

2008-07-22T19:45:00.004Z

Lopes and I managed just fine without BabaLopes for the week but my mum called me everyday to check we were okay :) Not sure if absence makes the heart grow fonder but it's early days yet. The downside is the lack of good sleep. Since I am the only one at home, I feel I have to be able to hear if Lopes needs me, so I don't really sleep well. On Wednesday the driving instructor made me go home to bed after driving for an hour. So in the last week, I have spent all my money on taxis and so happy that the driving is coming along nicely. I just need to drive a bit more slowly and pay more attention to other road users. I blame my Nigerian pomposity, my attitude to other drivers is "Do you know who I am?"

I drew up a food timetable for Lopes as I sometimes run out of ideas and find we are eating the same things. It is an excellent idea, even if I say so myself. Means I can plan ahead and she gets to expand her food field for want of a better description.

Went to the shops today to shop for a dress for a wedding we are going to on Saturday and returned with one cake for Lopes' last day at nursery, a new pair of shoes for Lopes for school and some mini bagels for Lopes. Get the picture?? Nothing for me, not even a dress. Yikes what am I going to wear? We decided to have a meal at the shopping centre and Lopes spied the McDonalds sign and then the pizza hut sign. I decided that we needed to up the culture stakes so went to a grill like place where she could get wholesome burgers and I could get some low carb food. The homemade burger arrived and Lopes took one sniff of it and said "We are going to McDonalds next time" Serves me right. She could have had a happy meal with a fruit bags and I would have had my grilled chicken salad.

Weight update
Start 102ks
27 May 93kgs
26 June 92.8kgs
10 July 90kgs.
20 July 89kgs.

Slowing down now so I need to up the exercise.

So all in all, a good few days. Off to curl up in bed with the telephone. Thank God it only cost 0.5p a minute to call BabaLopes.

And so the theory test date came and went and then the date came again!

2008-07-10T14:28:00.003Z

A great start to July.

BabaLopes has got a new occupation and will be off to working away during the week and home either every weekend or every forthnight. Absence makes the heart grow fonder. Really happy as space can be a positive thing. Also this credit crunch is only palatable when served with luxury so all's well that ends's well.

Driving update.
I took my theory test about 6 years ago and then that test expired. Booked another one for the 20th of June but thought the date was the 21st and so I missed the test. Well, having swotted long and hard, I made my way to the test centre and on the way decided to read the back of the letter I was sent. Found out to my shock and horror that there was a hazard perception test introduced and I would have to watch 14 videos and click when I saw a developing hazard. Had enough time to offer many prayers. Went in and finished the test. 100% in the theory and 78% in the hazard perception. It seems my brain has remembered the days of yore when I was a hot chick. So practical test booked for..... Watch this space :)

Weight update

Start 102ks

27 May 93kgs

26 June 92.8kgs
10 July 90Kgs.

Getting better now. End of July target still 85kg. We'll see. Cut out all processed carbs and sugar. Still have slow release carbs and meat and veg. Yum. This is the lowest weight I have been for over 5 years!

Will leave you with my new favourite song. Ignore the video and just listen to the words. I am indeed a child of old age!

And the story so far

2008-06-26T16:38:00.004Z

So the driving instructor lost her grandad and postponed on me but she arrived a few weeks later and I braved the roads of North London and drove for 2 hours. She pronounced me teachable and so far I have had 2, 2 hour lessons and have driven BabaLopes to and from the shops. He seems to want to get used to being a passenger. I do hate roundabouts and I have scratched the alloys on the front tyre. See I am picking up driver speak. What the heck are alloys?

I moved a car and lived to tell the tale. I can see a hidden Speedy Gonzales begin to surface as my foot has a mind of it's own and sort of presses the gas extra hard. I am driving an automatic and so don't need clutch and gears etc. Anyway, I have banished the scary spectre of driving and I believe that I can do it. I do have to subdue my road rage tendencies as a mad lady hooted at me and overtook and I promptly stepped on the gas and wanted to give chase until the driving instructor calmed me down :)

Lopes had settling in at her new school and I confess that I have become an "let's do coffee" mum. Was fun though and I realised that I can be as sociable as they come. Next step will be a ladies who lunch move. Can't wait.

Also a dear friend of mine had a lovely baby boy. I need to get broody but I just can't yet. Help!

Weight update

Start 102ks

27 May 93kgs

Now 92.8kgs (I ate too much coconut candy and tea and biscuit and did no exercise) I am having a fat couple of days as I have ate too much puff puff at the naming ceremony yesterday! Was fun though.

End of July target 85kgs. Off to make some prawns and fish pepper soup.

PS. Can you keep a secret. Got some tickets for Lopes and she and I are going to see High School Musical at the theatre. I will be the mum with the HSM pom poms and singing like the best of them. Please don't tell Lopes as she will bug me till we go.

Tolu's prayer

2008-06-05T13:58:00.004Z

Tolu's prayer;

Please Jesus, you know how to drive. Help my mummy to drive because you have Daddy power.

There you have it. I am sorted for my first driving lesson tomorrow morning at 8am. I will report on my progress. As Dr Naaps said, morons drive so there is hope for me :)

Have been great and having fun sorting out Tolu's room and putting up new pink curtains and things. You see, before she was born, we were so sure we were having a boy that we put up dark blue curtains. Well thankfully we had a girl (I would advise all to pray for a girl as a first child) and she has firmly decided her favourite colour is pink. She liked purple, then yellow and orange and has now settled on pink and gold. So the carpet has been washed, curtains up and we are putting up massive flower stickers on the walls as my mural artwork leaves a lot to be desired.

I spy the sun and as I have been instructed by Hassan the gardener to water the plants, we are off in wellies and raincoat so Tolu can have a splash.

Diet update.
Starting weight 102kg (all in the backside and tummy) Have spindly legs and it's a wonder I don't fall over backwards.
Fell off wagon, gained 2kgs, Back on wagon lost 1kgs. Net loss 9kgs.
Current weight 93kgs
Target for end of July 85kgs.

I would never have believed that I would put actual figures up here, but what the hey. It's all good.

Driving update

Honest, I am not making it up. Received a text from the driving instructor on Friday morning that her grandfather passed away during the night. Really wanted to have gotten it over and done with as I did not really sleep due to the nerves. You would think I was going for a test and not a lesson.

Israel and New Breed - Alpha and Omega

2008-05-27T16:28:00.001Z

My new favourite song. KML

My lil quirks

2008-05-20T15:43:00.005Z

All the quirky posts got me thinking.

KML's quirky quirks

I make sequences out of nothing. They make no sense but I make them anyway. Cars, paving blocks, shower tiles etc.

I hate odd numbers. I always get things in multiples or give things away in multiples. However, I do have only one husband and one child!

When I set the alarm for the next morning, I feel deprived if the wake up time is less than 8 hours which is the magic number.

I like the smell of rain. I have been known to spray bare bricks with my water spray gun and sniff the bricks.

I love the number 2. I do the 2 times table in my head up to very big numbers and then get lost in my head.

I hold imaginary conversations with people I really want to give a huge telling off with the loud talking and gesticulations. Call it rehearsals or letting off steam, I always feel better afterwards and the people I should be telling off are none the wiser.

I clean all the grouting in my house with an electric toothbrush. It gets into all the little spaces which collect dirt.

I hate shopping. If I have to go out shopping, I make a list of what I am going to get, what shops I am going to get them from and then map my route for the day. Or else, I do it all online, even groceries.

I cannot ride a bicycle. I kept falling off as a child. Something to do with inner ears and balance. Still can't ride. However, that excuse does not work for my inability to drive, hence my soon to start intensive lessons.

I love ironing. Have not done it in a while but find it very therapeutic if I am all alone. Actually all housework is lovely if they all just left the house. Same with cooking.

My idea of a lovely weekend, is food, drink, all the remotes in the house and the phones and just me. No husband, no child, just me. Hmm. The selfish theme again.

I hate travelling. I just love arriving. Packing, dashing to airports or any ports, I can do without. Will be first in line for teleportation.

And this is an additional one. Every chicken I cook must not have a single feather or hair so after cleaning, I use a blowtorch to give it the once over. Also any other animal must have no hairs so I shave the skin on the leg of pork/lamp etcl

Therapy over. BabaLopes is a year old tomorrow and Lopes and I are making cupcakes. Will post the pics. In case we do not get the decorations right, we also bought a cake today.

ps.

We made the cupcakes. See pic above. Could have used brighter colours but we got a bit tired. Now we are just about to shorten the birthday message from Happy Birthday Daddy to Happy Birthday Dad. Lopes and I get a cupcake each :)

Where was I??

2008-05-12T14:03:00.006Z

Well, I just had to update for fear that SSD will send me a virtual smack with the missing koboko. Have been "just there". Can't seem to shake off this holding pattern feeling I have. And this too shall pass as Gramps used to day.

Thanks for all my birthday wishes. Had a good time with Lope insisting we had a cake. She was dissapointed that there was no party as she thinks birthday and party are one an the same! Did not eat loads but after 3 days off my diet plan, I hopped on my new toy, A nintendo wii fit and it had the audacity to ask why I had gained so much weight and to pick one reason from the list. I shamefacedly confessed to eating too much. Not my fault as Daddylopes took me out to an Indian restaurant which I have put down as a labour of love as he does not really love Indian food. As an aside, I seem to be slowly fading away. Have so far dropped 11kgs and feeling quite good with myself :) Still a way to go but one step at a time.

So far May has been good. Lovely weather and hot sunshine. We had an impromptu bbq yesterday and I would have put up some pics of the very authentic suya we made, but alas we scoffed the lot. While we were out shopping pre bbq, Lopes and her cousin decided to do some tap dancing in the supermaket in their flip flops. The problem was that they shouted for all to watch their "Lap" dancing. I did assure the viewing public that I had no idea where they got that from.

I finally got round to calling the Intensive driving school to make an appointment as I have to be driving in September when Lopes starts school. I must have a deeper fear than I thought as I was sweating buckets while I was on the phone. God help me. So you all won't say you were not warned, I will be embarking on the intensive driving course starting on the 2nd of June (Ta Ramy). So if you are in North London, stay at home!!

Food Glorious food, High School Musical...

2008-04-21T19:08:00.004Z

Well as you all know, I slowed down on the cooking front and got a lovely lady to bulk cook for me. I am a fantastic cook, even if I say so myself, but only love cooking when I have the luxury or spending a whole day uninterrupted in the kitchen. Seeing as that will never happen and Lopes cannot go through 5 minutes withou asking questions or letting you in on her numerous observations, I have decided to get back in the saddle. So in the last week or so I have cooked:

Okra Ogbono with chicken, goat meat, shaki, smoked fish and fresh prawns

Assorted Meat and Chicken Stew

Beans and sweetcorn.

Efo Elegusi

All packed and put in the freezer, ready meals Naija style.

I also have some wateryam waiting for the Ikokore treatment and ordinary yam waiting for the Asaro treatment. And then I found a Fish Market and they sell fresh Red Bream and Tilapia. Fish soup coming up.

Now the irony of all this food is that I cannot eat most of the food as I am cutting out my carbs. To good effect, one day, I will post a before and after pic :)

High School Musical, HSM
Lopes loves HSM and that is an understatement. So in a fit of madness, I bought her a game for the Nintendo wii, which is basically a Karaoke game with all the songs from HSM1 and HSM2. We now fight over the mic and shamefaced Mum, or shameless Mum even, waits till she goes to bed and pretends to be a Rock Star in the making.

Birthday Alert.
Please beg God on my behalf. I do not mean to appear ungrateful for my forthcoming birthday but I always get a bit down near my birthday or New Year. This year, I will try to be cheery, So Help me God. PS. I expect presents, real and not virtual on the 28th of April when I will be older and wiser, we hope!

I need to start reading again.

2008-03-19T19:08:00.003Z

I had been looking forward to watching "The No 1 Ladies Detective Agency" on the BBC on Easter Sunday. I say had, because even though I am still looking forward to watching it, I was most upset to hear that the Director, Anthony Minghella died yesterday. For some reason, the news of his death really moved me. I have never been a fan but I just liked him.

So in his honour, I am going to start reading again. Real books and intend to start at the front and not jump to the last few pages after an hour. So I will start with some books by Alexander McCall Smith, the writer of the The No 1 Ladies Detective Agency series. Any suggestions welcome. I have to warn you that I do not want deep, meaningful, sad books. Life is enough for that. I want humour, not too chick lit, some depth and meaning but not enough to make me want to slit my wrists. My Amazon basket needs filling so get commenting.

Off to hunt for Frejon beans and a good recipe for Easter. Might have to cook with the phone to my ear, listening to Mama Kemi's instructions! I see confused looks, Frejon?? Mashed black beans, cooked with coconut milk and sugar. Eaten with sieved gari and fish soup. I want my mummy!!

Mummy Jesus is a sheep

2008-03-17T19:55:00.000Z

Continuing on from Lopes' God is...... series.

Our church has a a newly revamped junior creche and Lopes' went for the first time 2 Sundays ago. They had the pictures, the paintings and made a cotton wool glue picture of a wooly sheep.

The text for the service was that Jesus was the Lamb of God. But not according to Lopes. According to Lopes, Jesus is a Sheep. Go figure :)

Have had a funny old past week, very bad cold and had the flu for the second time in 2 weeks. I kid you not, had it the week before, was fine for a week and then Wham, off again. I wonder if I qualify for a flu jab. Might just go and whinge at my GP. Off work again, I think my body just wants to stay at home.

At the moment, I am puffing 2 different inhalers, steroid and the ventolin and might be getting addicted. Dr Naapali, what is the prognosis? Have the dreaded smokers cough and have only ever smoked 3 cigarettes in my 35 years. I think I need a holiday. :)

Diet going excellently, must get to the exercise phase soon. But in this last couple of days, I have no taste buds and so want to eat all the nasty things that are not too good for me. So far, 6kgs down but I am on a plateau way to soon and need to kick start it once I get rid of these bugs for good.

Got the most amazing news recently. My Godson, got his place at his school. God is a good God

The last one is gone.

2008-03-07T08:47:00.007Z

I thought I knew you

I staked my life on many things around you

You were the one termed perfection in making
The last bastion

And yet a very dark cloud overhangs
No tears, no pain, only resolute anger

We mourn the innocence of ignorance
The erstwhile blissful ignorance

But we know now and accept the cessation of life as we knew it.

The last one is gone.

PS. Thank you all for your comments and phone calls. A minor blip that I am told happens from time to time. Clouds have turned into rain and now I think I see a rainbow :) I have my umbrella turned upside down to catch those pennies from heaven.

As my grand daddy used to say: And this too shall pass.

Normal transmission starts soon.

Mummy, God is a Girl

2008-02-23T11:51:00.006Z

As I had been a bit busy over the last few days and did not spend loads of times with Lopes, I decided to veg out this morning. Also nursing a mini headache due to falling of my lower carb wagon with a whole heap of dim sum and cocktails. I could never hold my liqueur, but one cocktail is all it took. I digress.

Anyway we were listening to our fave DVD set given to us by Aunty Ramiji (my friend Ramota who absolutely loves Bollywood, another post), "100 Sing along songs for Kids", a mix of nursery and Sunday school songs and the song "He's got the whole world in his hand" came on. While trying to explain the concept that God is all powerful and has it all under control, Lopes said "Mummy, God is a girl" while pointing at the girl singing. My little feminist!

While watching, my friend knocked on the door with a steaming bowl of Ogbono/Spinach and stockfish stew. I need to learn more non-Yoruba stews, so please point me in the right direction or at least offer to cook it for me.

So, I have been clearing out the house. If I did not know better, I would say I was nesting but it's fun to clear all the junk and clean all surfaces. Getting there and finally accepting that BabaLopes and I are pack rats. But the man is the one with two wardrobes while Lopes and I have one each. I refuse to tell you how many pairs of trousers I counted in BabaLopes' stash. Hmm.

Back garden all clear of BabaLopes shed rejects. Got Mr Hassan to come and cart them away before BabaLopes changed his mind or saw through my cunning plan to have it all clear in time for the first glimpse of sunshine so I can have lovely Barbecues. :)

So today, I will veg out and clear out once the one cocktail haze passes. Cheap date, me. I will also try to eat the aforementioned stew with no carbs. Harrumph!

So how have you all been?

PS. My Desola is back.

E wa ba mi gbe Jesu ga

2008-02-06T14:32:00.000Z

E wa ba mi gbe Jesu ga - Come Magnify Jesus with me.

We got a letter today. We have a place at the school God chose for Lopes. Okay, if you have not read it all in the archives already, let me fill you in.

We, the Lopes Appreciation group, and our chair lady Lopes, live in North London. There are 2 very good girls schools there that admit at 4+, 7+, 11+ and 16, and one of the schools have an extra intake at 5+.

We had a place at a Prep school but that was only till 11 years which meant that we would have to prepare Lopes for the 11+ exams. I have seen parents going through this and it's not pretty. So for reasons of self preservation, this was not our first choice but we had the prep school place as back up.

We, then had assessments at the 2 schools. We got a call back for a second assessment from one and a no from the other. Now the one we got a no from, had always been our first choice but the second choice was beginning to grow on me. Now the dilemma of which to choose and making the wrong choice was out of our hands.

So now we have a place. I say we, as the education of a child is very much a partnership between the parents and the school. So I am going back to school. God help us. Now the issue of school fees :) God dey.

I am sitting in a quiet house as Lopes is at nursery, and I have just come back from work to reread the letter. BabaLopes stayed home till the letter arrived! Hmm. What cake should be bake??

Mum, let's pray to Jesus

2008-01-27T15:57:00.000Z

A few days ago, I was looking for Lopes' special cream for her dry skin. She had been using it as a microphone while singing her favourite song:

Anyway, we could not find it and asked her what we should do. She said, "Let's pray to Jesus, so he can help us find it. So we did. We also prayed about her schools. So far, 3 assessments, 1 yes, 1 no and 1 pending.

Now, my friend, Omara gave Lopes a book called A heart for Jesus and since then the questions have started. Lopes in Green. MamaLopes in Blue

Where is Jesus? He is in your heart

Is he eating my food there? No

I have called Jesus and he has not come. Is he pretending? This was accompanied with a big frown.

Is Jesus running in my heart when I am running?

And the questions keep coming and I ran out of answers. Answers on a postcard please.

Lopes and I have made tooooo many cupcakes this year. Not a good idea. Have also resurrected my puff puff recipe. Oh dear. I can see I have my work cut out diet wise this year.

Lopes has settled in nicely at her new nursery and will soon win them over to her kissing bandit ways. They are a lot less cuddly and warm than the previous nursery staff but I am sure we will get there.

O Faith, Faith, wherefore art thou, Faith?

2008-01-05T15:13:00.000Z

Faith is said to be the substance of things hoped for and the evidence of things not seen.

Lopes went for her first school assessment on Wednesday. I spoke to her tutor on Thursday and she said a mum had received a call for a second interview. I hot-footed it home and had not received any calls. Deep depression set in. Why were we not called....

I then spoke to another mum who said most people get letters and not to worry. Still niggling doubt. Spent the evening surfing instead of packing orders. Read a piece written by Christian Writer on how she got published and one line flashed at me.

"I truly believe that God wanted to challenge my faith"

I have faith, well I thought I had faith and at the first hurdle, I did not say, "my God is able, He is in control". I fell over. I ran home, and sat and finished a bag of Lindt Truffles. Thank God that His actions are not based on my foolishness. We got a letter, we have a second interview :)

Also my father in law will be staying with us for a while. It's going to be a great year.

Happy New Year. Now let the madness commence

2008-01-03T19:10:00.000Z

Ahh. Another year. We thank the good Lord for continued grace.

Had a great time over Christmas and New Year. Normal Christmas when I was growing up was the whole shebang. Roast Chicken, we hated turkey, leg of lamb/pork, potatoes, stuffing, gravy and brandy flamed Christmas pudding.

Since I got married, I learned that the whole roast dinner thing is not appreciated in some households and after the first wasted effort, I just ask my parents in law what they would like. So for Christmases past we have had pounded yam, ikokore, okra ogbono, efo egusi and the like. This Christmas we had pounded yam. Great time saver :)

Got to church late on New Year's Eve thanks to BabaLopes and was in grave danger of taking my anger into the new year. Had to sit in the overflow section but most people did not take it seriously and chatted throughout. Anyway, got over the annoyance quickly. Spent New Year's day with family eating orishirishi. Big trouble. My diet is shot to pieces and so have to start again. No better time than Janaury 1st or 4th or 10th....

The Madness of school assessment has started in earnest. God help me, is all I can say. Lopes is blissfully unaware and is taking it all in her stride. I am the one with manic insomnia at the moment. Even BabaLopes thinks I am a bit mad and that is saying something. Prayers for the prevention of my decline into panic induced madness are very much needed.

So this year, I will be making resolutions as much as I hate them and my only resolution is:

Don't sweat the small stuff.

I intend to laugh loads, stress less and ignore that which I have no control over. I might cease to be dependable and be a bit more frivolous. I will read more books as opposed to one chapter a year, I will make more time for myself and might even paint my fingernails. I will share the happiness with BabaLopes instead of being a grumpy cow and will buy Lopes less presents as she is beginning to be tad unappreciative of all she has. So let the good times roll.

Ps I got a new laptop from BabaLopes as my present. Considering we had decided not to do presents this year, it was a good thing I got him his coffee machine

Keresimesi Odun de O

2007-12-24T14:23:00.000Z

This has to be my most unfestive Christmas ever. Since we rejigged the sitting room, I decided we had no space for the usual large tree so bought a small tree from John Lewis online. This took a whole week to deliver and when it arrived, was described by my sister and my friend as a shrub! So the big tree came out but mysteriously all the decorations have vanished from the loft. Put some baubles and lights on, but the tree looks as festive as I feel. Lopes has loads of presents under the tree so I am glad I got the big tree out. Would have looked a bit strange with the shrub!

Altering naapali's words, She left me.... my Christmas spirit.

What I need is a recording of the old Christmas songs Nija style like:

Keresimesi Odun de O
Keresimesi Odun de O
Odun Olowo, Odun Olomo
Keresimesi Odun de O

Googled the song title and found this choral rendition
http://www.tradebit.com/filedetail.php/1653810-Music-Classical

Skipping my usual introspection this time for loads of reasons including

It's depressing. It is a conscious introspection but it depresses me so I am not going to do it. No point is sitting and wondering what I have or have not achieved in the last year so I refuse :)

Have had a busy week with my nieces visiting. 3 girls including Lopes leave little time for quiet thought. They have had so much fun and I am quite pleased as I know they are building good memories.

So I am sitting here listening to Micheal Buble and Boyz to Men in a quiet house as Lopes, BabaLopes and GrandmaLopes have gone shopping for a present for Lopes. Off to mix some Chapman and season the bird.

So here is to 2008, the best year yet.

Funny old week

2007-12-07T21:42:00.000Z

So the party came and went, but did Lopes stop talking about her party? Oh, no. Now she things she is having another party next week Saturday!!

Now as you would have gathered from my posts, I can't teach for toffee and Lopes has some assessments in January. As nursery is now closed for good, I dug out some workbooks, I had bought with good intentions, and proceeded to teach Lopes how to put numbers in order of size. She can count to 30 so I thought, "Piece of Cake". Well, we mastered the concept of more and less and then got down to the size of the numbers. Started off with 0 and 1. My Lopes told me 0 was a bigger number, explained the concept of nought, zippo, zilch till I was blue in the face but she still said 0 was a bigger number. After about 10 frustrating minutes, I asked her to explain why. (Note to self, children are smarter than their mums from day 1). She then proceeded to tell me that 0 was a nice round fat number and 1 was kind of skinny. Fell about laughing and class was dismissed. I guess I learnt more that day. Not enough to hear, one has to listen.

No Friday cooking today, waistline is complaining a bit concerning all the party food and drink we have been eating during the week. So decided to chill and also can't seem to shake this silly bug. Lopes and I had out customary soak in the bath and then she asked if she could go to one of her friend's house for a playdate. I said I would ring her mum to confirm. The next words, broke my heart. "XX does not have a mummy, she has an au-pair". You see, I know the said friend has a mummy, and I have met her twice. All the other times, I have met the au-pair, so I guess it's a fair point. I can now shake off my "Woe is me, what have I done with my life and all my palis, etc etc., because I know my daughter will never say, I don't have a mummy, I have an au-pair.

PS. Our read in the bath was the latest issue of the O (Oprah) magazine which arrived today via the postman. For those who sill buy them at newsagents, subscribe from the Oprah site. It costs $40 a year and this includes overseas shipping. A grand total of £20 for 12 issues and you don't have to go out in the cold and forget to buy it. Cost about £4 an issue at the newsagents who stock them. (Have take off the link :) No affliation to Oprah) One of my resolutions next year will be to buy as much as I can online. I simply cannot abide going to the shops.

Off to nurse a slightly alcoholic drink. Mainly for medicinal purposes :)

4 years ago

2007-12-02T22:22:00.000Z

4 years ago at 7.11am on the 2nd of December, Lopes was born. And here we are, stretched knee ligament, hole in the heart all gone. See here for the summary

Lopes has been planning her party since the beginning of the year and at one point, I had to ban her from talking about it as she talked about it every day. And that was not once a day either.

She wanted a doctor cake as she had decided she wants to be a doctor when she grows up. I have tried to talk her out of it, but no joy. Anyway, the love for Dora has polluted that a bit as she wanted a Dora cake but it had to be a Dr. Dora cake with a stethoscope". Passed all the info to our resident blog ville Mama Oni cake and she did us very proud.

It was confirmed that her nursery would close for good on Friday so this was our birthday and nursery Christmas party as all her nursery friends came. A good day was had by all, Lopes got oodles of presents from all her resident aunties and friends and we came home to a small open house, with rice and stew very plenty, for those who could not make it. I love my caterer, if anybody in North London wants an excellent caterer, let me know. (She puts panla(stockfish), in her efo soup, Need I say more)

I did not actually shop for a present for Lopes this year, as she has loads of things and gets something at least every 2 - 3 weeks. Her dad went out shopping for presents the night before! My present for Lopes is a promise to appreciate the small things, listen and not just hear her and an even greater promise to count to 10 before I react.

Very tired at the moment. Feel I am coming down with something, No I am not pregnant. as some have been implying, just a bit run down. Off to bed now and so glad that due to the nursery closure, I get to have a lie in. Who said God has not ordered my life :)

Next week, we will be vegetating, working from home and trying to find a new nursery. We will probably not try very hard but we will try sha. I will also get my hair done, do lunch with the ladies and relish spending time with Lopes. I am sure I was made to be a kept woman :)

I really hope work don't call me early tomorrow morning as I am sure I won't have head for figures tomorrow. Have a great week and may this last month of the year be the best yet and may all you have been waiting for and hoped for this year, come to pass. Though it tarry, it will come.

Thirty days of Thanksgiving - Day 30

2007-11-30T07:34:00.000Z

I was tagged by Naapali. My very first tag!

I am thankful for life. Sounds corny but I have life, I have hope. I am thankful for all the things I can do without thinking about it. Talking, walking, sleeping, eating, even thinking.

I am thankful for Baba Lopes. In him, I have found the one in whom my soul delights. Not the perfect finished article but work in progress. And I have the certainty that the finished article will the perfect.

I am thankful for Lopes. I am thankful for my daughter, the one born at 5lbs 12oz, almost a week late, with a hole in the heart is whole. he will be 4 on Sunday. Thankful that she sleeps through the night in her own bed, in her own room, eats some of her fruits and vegetables, thankful that the I am walking in the light I spied at the end of the tunnel of sleepless nights when she was born. I am thankful that God answered our prayers that she should take the best of both parents and that God should fill in the gaps. Thankful that out of the blue, she will come and give me a hug and a kiss and say, I love you Mummy" Thankful that her favourite food is eba and yellow soup (ogbono) and it takes 5 minutes to make.

I am thankful for where I am now. Though it might not be where I want to be, it is a mighty fine place to be in life and the expectancy of hope will never be dimmed.

I am thankful for Mama and Papa Kemi for the example they have shown that 2 people who love and care for each other can still separate acrimoniously and the reminder it serves that talking is the most important thing in a relationship.

Thankful for my band of sisters. Such different characters and my position as the last born has trained me in the art of conciliation and diplomacy such that I could be an international peacekeeper.

I am thankful for my network of friends, those that tell it as it is with no sparing of feelings because they know that it will benefit us. I am thankful that they are not many but pack an amazing punch.

I am thankful for knowing to be thankful. There is nothing worse than ingratitude and not recognising that blessings abound.

Out of my comfort zone

2007-11-26T16:22:00.000Z

It has often been said, by those who know me, that I love being in control. They are right, I do. I hate not knowing what is going on, hate surprises, basically hate not to be in charge of what is going on around me. I have been learning to let go but seem to go back to the bad old days more than I would care to mention.

So why I am so happy today? Search me, I should be in the pits now but have this serene calm and a stupid smile on my face.

Current Scenario

Lopes' nursery group went into administration and the individual nurseries were being sold off. An offer was made for the one we attend but the buyer pulled out, so if no buyer is found by Wednesday, the nursery will close for the final time on Friday.

The other nursery I considered moving her to only has space on Mondays and Fridays for now and on 3 days a week from February which is when I want her to go full time.

I only just decided to go back to work full time contracting and have been applying so this childcare blip could not have come at a worse time.

From Desiderata by Max Ehrmann. The best line for me in this situation is the opening line: "Go placidly amid the noise and haste and remember what peace there may be in silence."

I view this as the storm before the calm. It's going to be fun. Then again, it might just mean Lopes and I get to stay at home 24/7 making biscuits. Place your orders now!

Friday Cooking Session

2007-11-23T17:02:00.000Z

Welcome to Mum and Lopes' Cooking Session.

As promised we baked some cookies and we were supposed to make Chicken Mede Med. Last night, Lopes had dinner at nursery, came home and had 6 crackers with Lemon curd, some breadsticks and cheese and the decided to eat some of her Dad's Eba with Okra Ogbono. She picked out all the prawns and decided that instead of Chicken Mede Med, we should have Prawns Mede Med. All that food and she is still skinny. I was like that. Sigh

So we decided to make, Beef Mede Med, Chicken Mede Med, and Prawn Mede Med and then have it with Tortillas, Salsa, Sour Cream and Guacamole. Lopes and her Dad will only have the meaty bits with Tortillas and Salsa and I will be left with the all that and Sour Cream and Guacamole :)

While I was slicing the beef strips, Lopes asked what it was and I said it was Beef from the cow. She assumed that I bought the beef from a cow and mentioned that he can't have been too happy to sell me the beef. If only she knew!!

Got away without putting on the telly today in line with our no TV Friday. Put on the radio so we danced in the kitchen. Lopes fancies herself as a singer! Her take on Johnathan Butler's song, He reigns. JB Sings "He is the Lord out God and he reigns forever". Lopes' rendition: "He is the Lord wide gard-en reigns forever Lore". Videoed it on my phone, but it's too big to upload. Will work it out one day.

Well, pictures as promised. Took them on the camera and uploaded them via Flickr. Hope it's a bit clear. Have a great weekend. Tomorrow I will be sleeping in all day while making sure I have all the bits for Lopes' Party a week on Sunday. Ah, scrap that, I am going out to visit 2 friends and hope that in the house of the second friend, we will order a take away and have drinkies :)

Little Chef Lopes mixing away and wondering when she can have a taste

Our Biccies, almost all gone now due to my stringent quality control measures!

Our Mede Med Medley. Enough said

Glossary
Mede Med = Whatever you want to make and don't have a name for. It originated during Tolu's restaurant games. She plays a waiter and comes to take the order and I always ordered Chicken Mede Med!

Who helps me????

2007-11-21T18:22:00.000Z

I am mother

I am wife

I am daughter

I am daughter in law

I am friend

I am acquaintance

I am worker

I am supplier

All I ever hear is "Can you help me...", "I need a favour...", "I appreciate you are tired..." "I know you are good at this...", "Have you got a minute..."

I am tired, flagging, sometimes hopeless, running on empty. Who helps me????

GOD

Normal, cheerful transmission resumes on Friday when Lopes and I will be making Christmas cookies and a dish I have named Chicken Mede Med. Recipes for the Chicken Mede Med are welcome as it's a totally made up name and Lopes is expecting a master piece. I will provide pictures.

No television. Lots of baking

2007-11-07T08:40:00.000Z

I have been trying to scale down the amount of television Lopes watches and realised that the television was usually for my benefit and not hers.

So I have designated our Fridays, the only day we spend at home together, a television free day. Woke up early and and jumped around with the wii for about half an hour. We had a leisurely lie in and breakfast and then did some reading.

The book we were reading had a hen baking jam tarts so I decided that baking jam tarts would be a great idea. So 12 jam tarts later, we decided to make some strawberry cup cakes and then I roasted some chicken. So which one did I eat, in light of my low carb diet? 2 Jam tarts :( Not pleased at all but at least I can say I make a mean shortcrust pastry. Nice and light with just the right amount of stodginess!

By 4.30, Lopes had not once asked for the television. Must be because all she was thinking about the sleepover at her favourite cousin's house. Was home alone as DH went out. I sulked a bit but realised I could soak in the bath with a diet coke and brandy which is all low carb.

I hope you all had a great weekend. Got a consignment of assorted meat stew from the caterer. Ahh, if only I could have some Dodo(fried plantain)

PS. TN, get off my blog :)) Or else....

Going back to my roots

2007-10-29T07:26:00.000Z

Long, long ago, I used to be known as "Original man pant. Not as bad as it sounds, it just just meant....., hmm, not really sure.

That was before I had a child and mistakenly put motherhood before being a wife and partner. Also being slightly heavier than I would like did not help as I took to hiding all the time. Not quite sure that the error of my ways ever fully dawned on me but now my husband is back from a 2 week trip and I fully intend to return to my ashewo days, happily married of course.

The answer for us was the break, I realised that in almost 5 years, we have not been apart for this long. Not good. I think we should do breaks a bit more often. I found I had more time to pray, set a good routine for Lopes and sort out my eating. Last 2 days were rubbish as I had teenagers in the house and foolishly decided to eat with them. This was sorted when I put them in charge of my food. My niece promptly grabbed my cornetto and tossed it in the bin!

Anyway, discovered this programme on channel five called, How to have sex after marriage. It's on Wednesdays at 9pm. Very good eye opener. Cringed when I could identify with some issues but good to see in black and white. Also picked up some new tricks. hehe :)

Paraphrasing an old mantra, My new mantra is "I must, I must, I must improve my lust! So my newly discovered frequent blogging might not be as frequent :))

Be Magnified

2007-10-28T03:16:00.001Z

One of my favourite song of all time. Keeps playing in the background of my mind and has been coming to the fore lately.

Fred Hammond ft. Radical For Christ - Be Magnified

Have taken the lyrics off pronto. Copyright. Yikes.

Children, children everywhere

2007-10-25T10:19:00.000Z

Today I have 5 children including mine in the house. They will all be here till Sunday afternoon at least. This I see as patience training. To everyone out there who has more than one child, I salute you.

They are all family and so Lopes has refused to go to nursery today so she can have great fun being the youngest child in the house. The oldest is about 15 years old so I don't really have to do much.

They sure can eat loads and Mr Tesco should be weaving his way in the delivery van to me any moment, which is great as I have already run out of milk and bread. I used to wonder what all the fuss was about when people complained that having children was expensive but now with older children around, I can totally appreciate that.

I now have to share my new toy but they have learnt much more than I have about the wii and they have only played with it for about an hour. I have now created a Kemi mii, a little me, which follows me across all the games. The things you can do. I have made the mii a little on the tubby side so it is quite true to life. Alas there were no extra features to give her backside the Kemi (J Lo eat your heart out) treatment. Did I mention that I was a boxing champion?? All that hidden aggression. Laila Ali, watch out!

Off to make some chocolate milkshake and some fairy cakes. Ahhhhh. I promise not to eat any.

And...

2007-10-21T21:19:00.000Z

We got a letter on Saturday morning offering Lopes a place at the school.

I have a God who never fails....

So one school down, two to go. Other assessments are in January, so I can stop the weird dreams for a while now.

Had a lazy Sunday. Woke up tired as Lopes decided she wanted to join me at around 3am and I was having none of it. Drifted off around 4am with her still muttering "mummy" from her room. Felt so bad but it had to be done.

A friend dropped by to say hello and stayed till evening. Such bliss. Just chilling and playing on the wii. I think I should get a bonus from Nintendo every time I talk about it. Very addictive.

Getting ready for another week. Off work for the week and DH is back in 7 days. Yippee!!

Ps. Diet still going well. Intend to be extra strict this week

2 weeks off!

2007-10-17T20:31:00.000Z

2 posts in one day, talk about making up for lost time!

My husband is away to Nigeria for two weeks and a few things have become very clear. As much as I rant and rave when we have our spats, I cannot cope as a single parent. Lopes pines for her dad and draws pictures of him all the time. Also I can't sleep well and keep checking to see if Lopes is fine. Help, need to sleep. Also sleep with one of DH's tshirts on my pillow so I cam smell him. How sad is that!!!!

We should have gone with him as that was the plan but packing for home and being home frankly scares me. Will leave that for another post. Anyway my mum was here and only left last week so no great hurry to go home.

I do love the time off and have lost 3kgs already with the diet and my new toy. A nintendo wii. I always wanted one and thought it would be great for exercise so DH got me one before he left. I am sure the neighbours think I am a bit loopy. All that hopping around like a demented rabbit. I am a pretty good boxer too :) If you ever wanted one and needed convincing, GET ONE NOW. UK stock levels are almost non existent.

Oh and the other thing that has become clear, I am too old not to be able to drive. So North Londoners, stay home most evenings and on Saturday mornings. I will be the one either at the front of a long line of traffic or will be the road-rager shaking her fists out of the window as I try out my Lewis Hamilton moves!

Happy Birthday Gramps

2007-10-17T19:16:00.000Z

Today my grandfather, ZMN, would have been 100 years old. He called my sisters and I, his grandees. His favourite phrase, which has become my motto was "And this too shall pass"

I remember the last time I saw him about 5 years ago. He had lost his sight due to glaucoma and was a bit forgetful. He did remember to ask why we were all wasting time and not married! As a parting comment, he said we should not be sad if we this was the last time we saw him as he was definitely going to a better place. I believe that.

So from one Grandee to an amazing Gramps, Happy birthday.

Can I have my blogging job back please

2007-10-09T17:50:00.000Z

Not fair, used to blog a bit more frequently than this and even managed to read a few blogs. Now all I do is read blogs on my phone and silly T Mobile content lock stops me from leaving comments. Long time again!! I am sure you are tired of that phrase.

So what have I been up to?

Well Mama Kemi came for her surgery. All went well, we thank God. They are going back home this week :))

Lopylicious, aka Lopes has been doing well. We are getting her ready for 4+ assessments to start school next September, I am sure my friends are thinking of leaving the country. We had one assessment this morning and my dream last night went thus....

My sister was taking us to the assessment which happened to be in my Old School, Maryhill in Ibadan. (The assessment is for a school in North London) She then decided to take the scenic route and we ended up in Spain at the running of the bulls by which time my sister had disappeared and I was left with her 2 daughters and Lopes. The we realised we were lost and needed to get to the 11am appointment. It was 10.52am and our driver, Mr Basiru who incidentally has been with us since I was 3 years old, turned up to take us to the appointment. We then realised that we were in Peckham and had 8 minutes to get to the school. I phone DH in tears and then woke up. Someone please interpret and tell me I am not mad yet but only slowly getting there!! No I have not been to Spain or Peckham!

I am back on the weight loss band wagon. Have a wager to lose a stone and trying to get there. Was going to get a Nintendo wii and use that for exercise but I left that too late. None in the shops. Even have an online stock checker checking as we speak. Missed one from an online shop today. Will have to settle for old fashioned jumping up and down in an inelegant fashion.

Apart from that, all well at home. Dh is great, Work is boring, need to leave but looking to get serious in January after all Lopes assessments are over.

So how have you all been? Form an orderly line to leave your comments. Would be surprised if I get one. Go on, you know you want to :)

Long time, again.....

2007-08-03T16:45:00.000Z

Okay, it has been a while. Not sure why it has taken me so long to come back to the warm embrace of blogging. God knows I definitely need it. Been a bit down with what feels like the weight of the world on my shoulders

Have been working really hard at work and at business and at home. Nice distractions but tiring. So what have I been up to??

Work. Had to get to work at around 7.15 for the last 4 Mondays to turnaround some critical work. Note to self, need to get a new job with loads of money.

Got a cleaner. She asked if we sold shirts as my husband has at least 80 - 100 shirts and she is getting through all the ironing. :)

I have taken my daughter to loads of shows and finally took her to the London zoo. Nasty gorilla proceeded to do a poo and then he ate it. Had to shield her eyes.

My garden is pretty again, thanks to Hassan the gardener. He even planted some colourful plants in the border and has taken down DH's junk laden shed so I can put up Lopes playhouse and play hide and seek outside.

Mum is coming over for surgery in a few weeks so I have had to literally interview surgeons and confirm it they are worthy. Living in Nigeria makes you think that as long as you are paying for something, you can dictate. Imagine asking a surgeon based out of town to come to London to perform an operation!! Small wonder he did not tell me to go forth and multiply!

July was definitely party month. Lopes had a party, sometimes two, every weekend and we have one on Saturday and another on Sunday this week. God help me.

Come magnify the Lord with me, and let us exult his name together. Had great news. Lopes no longer has a hole in the heart. All gone and we have been discharged by the hospital.

So now I am lounging at home alone with Sandra ironing downstairs. She has a gospel CD on which is great. She actually prays before she starts work. Reminded me that I need to pray more and not take things for granted. Lopes and DH are on their way home soon. In the process of doing up her room, new bed has arrived and wardrobe comes on Tuesday.

Pardon this post. It has been a therapeutic flow of consciousness. I remember when my MBA marketing lecturer described one of my essays as such. Needless to say, I had to do it again!

Will be back soon and won't leave it too long.
KK

Ps. FIL wants to stay with us again. Chineke God of heaven and above. Na who I vex? He will be having surgery and wants to recuperate here. Spare room is no longer spare as Lopes is moving in there so what to do. Watch this space, I might just run away.

No vex :)

2007-06-28T12:27:00.000Z

Okay, I get the message CG :)

So sorry for the tardiness of my posts. Have been running around like a blue bottomed fly!

So far in the last couple of weeks;

I went out with the girls and stayed out till around 2am. Have not laughed so much in ages. Old and New friends are the best.
I read for my UK citizenship exam that I have been putting off for over a year, passed the test and now agonising about signing a cheque for £655 for my naturalisation forms!
I have also worked more full time days than ever, and managed to get my business orders out. Lord I praise mums who work full time. I can definitely say it is not for me. Career or no career, I know fit quench.
I saw Anita Baker in concert (Tuesday 26th of June) at the Royal Alert Hall, lovely but we were kept waiting for almost 2 hours before the start of the concert. Was worth it, though. Need to keep taking my Omega 3 capsules; I had forgotten most of the songs!
Went out with the work team to entertain out customers. Not a drinking girl else I am sure I would have fallen asleep at around 9pm. Lightweight

Somewhere amongst all these, I saw Oceans 13 at the cinema, my first movie at the cinema in almost 4 years.

So I think I deserve a medal even if my to do list never gets shorter. Still need to sort out my driving and my lardy bottom. Hmmph. Off to bed and then to the post office and the doctors for a checkup. Bah Humbug!

Oh Lord, the Spice Girls are reforming. I am going to sleep. Wake me up when they are gone. Take That, yes, Spice Girls, NO

60 Questions

2007-06-03T17:50:00.000Z

Found this on Calabar Gal’s blog. Thought it would be a good way to update. Life is just humdrum at the moment. Something interesting must happen soon. Please God.

1.What time did you get up this morning? 8.30am. Needed a lie in.
2. Diamonds or pearls? Diamonds
3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema? Ah, confession time. Saw one of the Matrix films when I was pregnant 4 years ago. Fell asleep halfway through and have not been since. Will be seeing Oceans 13 but need to see Oceans 12 first.
4. What is your favourite TV show? Can’t choose. So it’s CSI, Hotel Babylon, New Tricks, Columbo. Just remembered the New Dr Who. That’s my favourite
5. What did you have for breakfast? 3 chicken thighs at around noon.
6. What is your middle name? Adeola
7. What is your favourite cuisine/meal? Pounded Yam with Okra Ogbono from My Ondo Side and Ikokore (water yam pottage) from my Ijebu side. Now I have Okra Ogbono with fish and prawns and Orisirisi which I cooked last week and I have a tuber of water yam. Decisions, decisions. Will have some meat and veg instead. This low carb diet :(
8. What foods do you dislike? I wish. Dislike sushi, smoked salmon, oysters. You get the drift. All raw seafood. And asparagus
9. Your favourite Potato chip? Will swap with plantain crisps. Homemade by Mum and sent over in huge tubs.
10. What is your favourite CD at the moment? Romanza by Andrea Boccelli
11. What kind of car do you drive? I do have a car but can’t drive yet. Was supposed to be motivation.
12. Favourite sandwich? Must have meaty bits
13. What characteristics do you despise? Deviousness, procrastination, Selfishness, … Hmm, have at least one of these. Must do something about it.
14. Favourite item of clothing? Any black skirt. Hides a multitude of sins
15. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would you go? The Rome of my childhood. Have refused to go the Rome so I can keep the memories.
16. What colour is your bathroom? White.
17. Favourite brand of clothing? None. As long as they fit.
18. Where would you want to retire? Don’t want to.
19. Favourite time of day? Mid day.
20. Where were you born? Ibadan
21. Favourite sport(s) to watch? Football. Used to be an avid Leeds United fan and loved going to the Stadium. I blame their downward spiral on the fact that I moved to London.
22. Who do you least expect to respond to this? N/A
23. Person you expect to respond first? N/A
24. What laundry scent do you use? Comfort Pure. Have a 3 year old so less things to irritate her skin
25. Coke or Pepsi? Coke Zero
26. Are you a morning person or night owl? Neither. Like mid day.
27. What size shoe do you wear? 5/38
28. Do you have pets? Nope. Had a goldfish once. Will be acquiring one soon for Lopes.
29. Any new and exciting news you'd like to share with everyone? Nope.
30. What did you want to be when you were little? A doctor specialising on Obstetrics and Gynaecology. Was crap at sciences. Should have stuck with Maths and Economics
31. Favourite Candy Bar. Any on a bad day
32. What is your best childhood memory? Dad reading King Solomon’s Mine to me. Still my favourite book. Try to read it every 2 years, so I am due another read soon.
33. What are the different jobs you have had in your life. Film extra in Cinecitta in Rome when I was 10, my parents had gone to Israel and my cousins were bored. Mail Order Processor, MBA Admissions Administrator, Analyst, Analyst, Analyst
34. What colour/type underwear are you wearing? Black Big Mama Pants
35.Nicknames: In School, Big Yansh(Hence the big Mama pants), Now Amoke
36. Piercings? One in each ear
37. Eye colour? Brown
38. Ever been to Africa? Lived there for the first 18 years of my life
38b) Ever been to South Australia? Nope
39. Ever been toilet papering or rolling? What??
40. Love someone so much it made you cry? What made me cry was my foolishness and High expectations. Note the past tense was. Don't do crying anymore :) Ahh. Does my daughter count? It's not the loving so much that is the problem. it's the big bad world outside.
41. Been in a car accident? Nope
42. Croutons or bacon bits? Croutons
43.Favorite day of the week? Friday. Lopes and I have a lazy day
44. Favourite restaurant? Changes every 6 months. None at the moment.
45. Favourite flower? None
46. Favourite ice cream? Haagen Daz Pralines and Cream.
47. How many times did you fail your driver's test? Not taken one yet.
48. What colour is your bedroom carpet? Beige, Caramel sort of
49. How many times did you fail your driver's test? Is this a trick question. Same as 47.
50. Before this one, from whom did you get your last email? N/A
51. Which stores would you choose to max out your credit card? Must be a home store. Would love to get a new kitchen for me and a bedroom for Lopes
52. What do you do most often when you are bored? Lie down with a snack and all the remote controls in the house.
53. Bedtime? Anytime from 11pm to 2 am.
54. Who are you most curious about their responses to this questionnaire? N/A
55. Last person you went to dinner with? Lunch with Lopes
56. What are you listening to right now? Silence. Hiding away with my Sunday Papers. 57. What is your favourite colour? Blue, Green, Purple
58. Lake, Ocean or river? The smaller the better. Not a fan of water bodies. Can’t swim.
59. How many tattoos do you have? None. Do post pregnancy stretch marks count?
60. Which came first, the chicken or the egg? Both taste good and have no carbs

Ah What Bliss

2007-05-16T14:36:00.000Z

I work part time and should have been at work today but took the day off as we are off for a naming ceremony today. I had thought the ceremony would start early but it's due to start at around 6.

So Tolu went to nursery and DH went to work and I had my day planned out. You know how you carve out the day into sections so it was 9 - 10.20, clear sitting room, unload and load dishwasher, pick up bits, clear workstation, 10.25, pack orders while watching Oprah, go to post office etc.

But the day went like this, clear sitting room, download and print orders, sit on Sofa with bread and cheese, watch Oprah, Eat Eba and Ogbono for Lunch and fall asleep while watching Columbo. What Bliss :) Have cooked some white rice to go with the designer stew for the naming ceremony, the rest is being picked up at the caterers as I type.

This is the life. And better still, I get to do the same thing tomorrow and will pack some orders. Must dash, Columbo is on again. Twice in one day on Channel 5.

PS. CalabarGal, the eba was only one tablespoon, honest!

To my Child

2007-05-14T17:02:00.000Z

To my Child

Just for this morning, I am going to smile when I see your face and laugh when I feel like crying.
Just for this morning, I will let you choose what you want to wear,and smile and say how perfect it is.
Just for this morning, I am going to step over the laundry, and pick you up and take you to the park to play.
Just for this morning, I will leave the dishes in the sink, and let you teach me how to put that puzzle of yours together.

Just for this afternoon, I will unplug the telephone and keep the computer off, and sit with you in the backyard and blow bubbles..
Just for this afternoon, I will not yell once, not even a tiny grumble when you scream and whine for the ice cream truck, and I will buy you one if he comes by.
Just for this afternoon, I won't worry about what you are going to be when you grow up, or second guess every decision I have made where you are concerned.
Just for this afternoon, I will let you help me bake cookies, and I won't stand over you trying to fix them.
Just for this afternoon, I will take us to McDonald's and buy us both a Happy Meal so you can have both toys!

Just for this evening, I will hold you in my arms and tell you a story about how you were born and how much I love you.
Just for this evening, I will let you splash in the tub and not get angry.
Just for this evening, I will let you stay up late while we sit on the porch and count all the stars .
Just for this evening, I will snuggle beside you for hours, and miss my favourite TV shows.
Just for this evening when I run my finger through your hair as you pray, I will simply be grateful that God has given me the greatest gift ever given.

I will think about the mothers and fathers who are searching for their missing children, the mothers and fathers who are visiting their children's graves instead of their bedrooms, and mothers and fathers who are in hospital rooms watching their children suffer senselessly, and screaming inside that they can't handle it anymore.

And when I kiss you good night I will hold you a little tighter, a little longer. It is then, that I will thank God for you, and ask him for nothing,

except one more day..............

(My friend, Omara sent this to me via email. )

PS. The attached picture of my daughter can be found online at my cousin’s shutterchance photoblog. I am biased but Suby and Sinem have elevated photography to an art form. Please book them for all your events, big and small and include my invite to come chop!

Best Birthday ever

2007-05-10T14:02:00.000Z

I know I have been useless with updating....

Anyway, was my birthday on the 28th of April and after my introspection and annual introspection, I settled to having a nice day. We all went out for lunch at Mama Calabar with the inlaws and Tolu. Nice food but slow service. Got loads of phone calls from around the world, and felt a bit of a star.

Best present was being whisked to the Hilton for Dinner, Bed and Breakfast. I simply love hotels and could live in one for ever. Love the decadence of fresh sheets everyday and food on tap. My husband says I don't need to fly out for holidays as my ideal is peace, quite, good books and room service and I can get that at any hotel in the UK!So dropped my daughter at her favourite cousin's house and went off to the hotel. Resurfaced the next afternoon and felt all was well with the world. Time out was great for DH and I to talk loads and sort out a lot of stuff.

Funny thing about hotels. We were running a bit late for check in so I told DH to go ahead and check in and then we can go back later. Oh no, he refused to fall for that. Apparently, I love hotels too much and the mere thought that he might accept a substandard room was too much to bear. When we go into hotel rooms, DH is always a few steps behind and is usually preparing to turn round and leave as he is sure I will ask for another room as that one is not good enough. I admit to being a bit of a nice hotel room freak but all I want are clean floors, no dust/grime on the window sill, and definitely no mildew in the bath grouting which must be gleaming. Also good temperature control, not too hot and not too cold. Now that's not too much to ask??

So loads of high points and one low point. Seeing my behind in the hotel mirror. Yikes! Must do something about the increase soon. Not pretty!

So I am back and in the meantime, have gone to some family parties, had a new addition to the extended family; new baby son for DH's closest friend and life has plodded on.

How have you all been?

I am grateful...

2007-04-19T16:47:00.000Z

This was written in 2005 as a testimony I wanted to send to my pastor. I did not want to be called up so I chickened out. It is a bit long even after my edits!

Here is our Testimony.

On the 23rd of July 2003, I was sitting at my desk at work, when the Holy Spirit said “Go to the Bathroom and say 7 Alleluias, the time of your breakthrough has come” Now, God speaks to me often, but whether I hear is another story. I always say, when I hear from God, there is no escaping. Anyway, I paused, thinking to myself how odd it was. I stood up and went and did as I was told. I was 3 months pregnant at the time and had been having loads of trouble at work since I told them I was pregnant. I had already consulted a lawyer at this time as they seemed to be putting a case together to get rid of me. I later found out that 7 was the number of completion.

A director came to my desk and asked if we could have a meeting to discuss some work which was odd for 4.30 on a Friday. I went to the meeting and was told that I was being dismissed as I was incompetent etc etc. I had worked with them for just under 2 years. We went through the motions and had further meetings and the last thing my boss said was that “While I had a good case and would make a credible witness, he would drag the case till my children were in school” My lawyers were sure we had a great case. My favourite prayer for my employers was Psalm 109 asking God to totally annihilate them! Thank God that I was not answered. I will pick up this later.

We went into hospital on the 1st of December to have our baby and after a few hours with minimal progress, a Doctor came into the room and after examining the heart rate of the baby, he said he was going to operate straight away as it showed the baby had the cord round its neck. The midwife and other doctors were unhappy that he wanted to operate straight away as there were other cases but he remained adamant that it must be done before his shift finished in the next hour. The midwife asked if we were related.(The doctor later visited us in recovery and also came to see us on the ward before we were discharged. We found that he trained under my father in law in UCH) On the 2nd of December 2003, I gave birth to our daughter by emergency CS after 19 hours and she did have the cord round her neck. It was also discovered that due to her position in the womb, she had a problem with her knee as the ligaments were overstretched. Basically, if she kicked out her left leg, the knee did not stop the leg from folding on itself, which thankfully I did not see it. We had all the x-rays of the knee, hip etc. I recalled the word a friend gave me during my pregnancy Proverbs 10:22 “The blessing of the LORD makes one rich, And He adds no sorrow with it”. My pastor prayed with this same verse when he came to visit us in hospital. We were given a splint to put over her knee and we were told we would have appointments at the Royal National Orthopaedic Hospital in Stanmore.

When she was about 8 days old, we noticed that her hands and feet were swollen and went to the GP who sent us straight to hospital. When we got there, they tried to take a blood sample but her limbs were too swollen. We were told to come back the next day for more tests and before we left we were told that swollen limbs was one of the symptoms for Turner’s syndrome which meant Tolulope had only one X chromosome instead of 2 and would not be able have children. We got home, got on the internet and got all the information we could about Turner’s syndrome and prayed against it as anything that had a name had a knee which would bend to the Lordship of God. We returned the next day and they took the blood samples and told us to make an appointment to see a consultant to discuss the results which they would rush through the labs. I then told them that we were not coming in to discuss any results as my daughter had no syndrome and that they should call when the results are through. A few days later we got a call that she did not have Turner’s syndrome and that there was no explanation for her swollen limbs.

However we were told to come back for a heart ultrasound as a heart murmur was picked up. At the ultrasound, we were told that Tolulope was born with a hole in the heart but that they would like to see us in a year’s time to reassess it

Back to the work situation, we went to the Tribunal on March 2 and 3 2004. All 3 directors turned up and told a good story. Actually, they lied quite well. My main witness was unable to testify as she had initially promised, as she was scared of losing her job. Anyway, we lost which I naively believed was impossible as I thought all I had to do was tell the truth. We had huge legal fees to pay but God came through and we paid the bills. I did complain bitterly that we had better use for the money, but a friend told me to thank God that at least we were able to pay it. That was when I realised that I had limited God, I thought my promised breakthrough was to win the case and get a huge payout.

After a few weeks, in April 2004, I started an online business and then a few months later, got a part time job. I get to work with excellent people part time, run my business full time and spend quality time with my family. If we had won at the tribunal, I would have summed that up as my breakthrough. I have since realised that the beginning of the breakthrough was for me to leave my old job but as I was refusing to budge, I had to be pushed but not before God gave me a word that it was well. I have also realised that the richest man is not one who has the most, but one who needs the least.

Incidentally, there is no lasting effect of the knee problem and Tolulope started walking on Christmas day. At the appointment for the update on the hole in the heart, were told that the hole is all but closed up and Tolu won’t be having surgery. I am sure there is no hole there now as the update was over a year ago and they want to see us in 2 years.

So now I choose Joy.

And here we go again.

2007-03-29T22:19:00.000Z

And so the slow slide into my twice yearly introspection begins. It’s usually not pretty and I tend to wallow a bit. I do this once at the end of the year and again when my birthday is approaching. For those who like to plan ahead and book flowers in advance, I will be 35 on the 28th of April. 35 seems a bit more significant as it’s halfway though the allotted Three score and ten years and I am not going to wait till I am 40 and find that I am still a bit of a fool.

Loads of questions are asked and I never seem to have answers to them. So this year, I thought I would share my questions.

What have I achieved so far?
I usually take the glass half empty stand but I am forcing myself to look at the positive. I have a lovely daughter, a husband I think I undervalue a lot, food to eat (It has been said that the contents of both my freezers can see us through a 3 month famine:), a roof over my head and love in my heart. So why I do I still feel empty and very tired. There is something missing and all I have so far cannot fill the chasm. This leads me on to my second question.

Am I where I thought I would be?
No. I have to accept that the standards I set for myself are a bit tough. I need to accept that my aspirations have to be achievable else I am setting myself up to fail. So I will try the no expectations route for 6 months.

Why am I still overweight?
I have the answer to this in an Oprah Aha moment and will blog about this soon) Bottom line, I do not like myself enough.

Why am I not happy?
Dunno.

Hey ho. One day, it will all come together and I will look back and think I was such a fool to beat myself up over things I really had no business worrying about. So again, my late grandpa’s words ring true “And this too shall pass”

One thing I have strongly resolved to do is to speak my mind clearly to all without the room for misinterpretation. My friend Bernie said I did this a lot when I was pregnant and has sworn to flee the country when next I tell her I am pregnant! I think the time has come in my life to cut out all the deadwood and things that do not add to me. Sounds selfish but having spent the previous 35 years being the nice girl, the gloves are off. Sounds ominous. What this space for the fallout!!

Resolution for April
Do at least 2 things I have wanted to do and never did. Outlandish ideas welcome.

This and that

2007-03-10T23:09:00.000Z

Saw this on Vixen's blog and just had to share. Brought tears to my eyes

While I was watching this and wailing, Lopes starts calling me from her bed saying "My nose is running" That made me laugh. She has this viral cough, cold thing. After a year of Harry Belafonte's Try to remember" as her bedtime song, we have found a new one. A friend sent the song to my phone and it is playing in an infinite loop on my phone as we speak in Lopes room.

Ahh. Just found the Harry Belafonte film of Try to Remember on Youtube. Quite strange. This was the first time I heard the song on the Night of a 100 stars. I was 10 years old. Off to bed before I put all my favourite songs in one post!

PS. Played the youtube video of the Harry Belafonte song for Lopes this morning. The smile on her face just makes the last 2 sleepless nights worth it :)

That Was The Week That Was

2007-03-07T20:20:00.000Z

This was an exercise suggested by Pilgrimage to Self

A time log of my week. Was not supposed to be this long!!

My Background
Work Part time
Run an online retail business
Mother of a 3 year old

Monday (Work day)

7am. Wake up. Get out of bed at 7.30. Make a few phone calls and sort out flight details for Father in Law. Have shower
8am. Get daughter up, shower, breakfast and get her ready for nursery. How come I can never find matching socks in the morning. Note to self. Have everything ready the night before.

9.15. Leave house and drop Lopes off at nursery at around 9.45 and get to work for 10am.

10am – 2pm. Work, work and more work. Loads of spreadsheet analysis. What fun. 15 minute meeting, Should have been about an hour but I left after my bit on the schedule. Hate meetings, especially those that don’t really impact on my role.

2.15pm. Off home. Nice work if you can get it.

2.45. Stop at Brent Cross for some shopping.

4pm. Get home. Have a snack and start making dinner. Offload dishwasher and give the dishwasher a clean with the new fangled dishwasher cleaner. The jury is out on that product. Sucker for advertising, me!

6pm. Where has all the time gone? In the last 2 hours, I have cooked dinner, laid out some clothes and downloaded, formatted orders for packing and printed out labels. Sent emails etc. Did some grocery shopping on Tesco.com. Absolute Godsend.

DH and daughter arrived around 6.30pm. Dinner and some writing practice for Lopes and TV on in background.

8pm. Lopes and I had a long soak in the bath. What decadence! Dragged wrinkly selves out of bath at around 8.45 after topping up bath twice with more hot water.

9pm. Story and bed for Lopes. Sang three verses of Harry Belafonte’s Try to remember. This has been Lopes’ lullaby for about a year now!

9pm – 11pm. Pack orders, weigh orders and stamp orders. Put in mail bag for mailman (DH) to take to post office tomorrow.

11pm. Prayers and Sudoku and Bed.

Tuesday(Home day)

8.30 am. Wake up to kisses from Lopes. “It’s wake up time, Mummy!”

Quick shower and breakfast for Lopes. I have a shower while she eats breakfast.

9 – 10.30 Clear out kitchen and sitting room (We had decorators in last week) Get extra junk bagged and put in bin for bin men. Sorted some laundry.

10.45 Breakfast for me and then loaded clean dishwasher and loaded washing machine.

11.30– 12. Some writing for Lopes. Dot to Dot is such fun. Did some colouring and painting as well.

12.30. Off to Lopes Class

1pm. Drop Lopes off and as I have to pick her up at 2.30, I go to a friend’s house nearby. Leave at 2pm to get the bus on time. I will start driving soon, I promise :)

2.30. Pick Lopes up and head home. Take bus to station and taxi home. I could have gotten up 2 stops before the station and we could have walked home but Lopes fell asleep on the bus. I must start driving soon, please God.

3.30. Get home and get Lopes some Lunch.

4 – 5pm. Emails, orders, blog visits.

5pm. Get some soup out of freezer in readiness for dinner and then veg out in front of telly. Cbeebies is such fun! I am sure I watched some reruns of Diagnosis murder as well or was that a dream.

7pm. Dinner for DH, Lopes and I.

8pm. Bath and Bed for Lopes. Storybook( Emily’s busy day) I must wean her off this book. We have read it so many times but she won’t budge.

9pm. Go up to pack orders but needed some stock from shed. Gave up and went to bed instead. Read till about 11pm

Wednesday (Work day)

Same as Monday except for some reason, I was totally exhausted and left work at 1pm. Stopped at Brent Cross Marks and Sparks for some chicken etc and then came home. Dropped shopping and went to check on Old Lady across the street I had not seen for a while. She had apparently fallen down the stairs around 9 weeks ago (Shame, Kemi!!) so stayed and had a chat. Got back home around 3pm.

Came home and watched Columbo while eating lunch. Refused to get off the sofa till the end and then started making Dinner. I love M&S. Chicken, clean add ready to roast, veggies ready to microwave, stuffing ready to roast and mash potatoes all done. Perfect comfort food for wet weather.

6.30. DH and Lopes get back some

8pm. Lopes bed time routine. Tried a new book and failed.

9pm. Packed all the orders, weighed, stamped etc.

Was up till around midnight. Decided to do some admin and listing and stuff.

Thursday (My day off)

8am. Got out of bed and crept downstairs to put clothes in drier, from Tuesday, and more washing in machine. Laid out breakfast for Lopes

8.30am, Woke Lopes up and got her ready for nursery. Shooed DH and Lopes out as fast as I could.

9.30am. Quiet, peace at last. Put doors on my new workstation which is great. You put all your junk in and then you can close the doors and everywhere looks tidy. I love Ikea. Spent the next 5 hours (I kid you not!) sorting out the sitting room. All Lopes toys go in bottom of workstation, books on top and the middle section has my laptop, printer and all my business bits and bob. Packed a whole box of toys for the loft and another box of Hubby’s tools.

2.30. Sit down to breakfast or should I say lunch. Stay on Sofa after that till around 4pm. I have earned this break.

4 – 5pm. Wash bathroom, mop floor and intended to wash the kitchen floor. Gave up when I could not find the water compartment for the floor washer. Grrrr. I moved this when the painters came in and now cannot find the bits, Oh well.

5.30. Dinner. I love the fact that I got soup in the freezer from the caterer. Makes some days easier than some.

6.30. Day off over, DH and Lopes back.

DH gave lopes her dinner and a shower while I vegged out some more. She got a story but no bedtime song!

9pm. Hotel Babylon and Dinner and then bed.

Friday (Lopes and Mummy Day)

Forgot to pack orders last night so I packed them this morning.

No work, no nursery.

Did not log today as we played and watched videos and ate such junk food. Spent my day so inefficiently, I loved it! Read and napped and surfed and emailed and caught up on phone calls and admin etc.

Summary
Must be an African thing but it’s usually me who does all the looking after my daughter and the house and I must admit that rankles a bit. Will I have another child???

Housework takes a lot of time so a cleaner might be on the cards once I get the house tidy enough!

TV
I have the attention span of a gnat. I have only watched about 5 programmes from start to finish this week. All others are on in the background. Even my favourites, CSI and all other detective and forensics programmes are being relegated. I find www.tv.com invaluable as I read up on the storylines I have missed.

Business
I must find an efficient way to answer customer emails. They just ask stupid questions sometimes!! Need to do some more market research and supplier info etc. Need more time. Might take a week off work and see what I can come up with.

DH
We do not spend enough time together as a couple. Hmmm. Babysitting anyone?

Men are like that, you know.

2007-02-09T22:07:00.000Z

I just had to post this :)

A man wants to get married.

He is having trouble choosing among three likely candidates.
So, he gives each woman a present of $5,000 and watches to see what they do with the money.

The first does a total make over. She goes to a fancy beauty salon gets her hair done, new make up and buys several new outfits and dresses up very nicely for the man. She tells him that she has done this to be more attractive for him because she loves him so much. The man is impressed.

The second goes shopping to buy the man gifts. She gets him a new set of golf clubs, some new gizmos for his computer, and some expensive clothes. As she presents these gifts, she tells him that she has spent all the money on him because she loves him so much. Again, the man is impressed.

The third invests the money in the stock market. She earns several times the $5,000. She gives him back his $5,000 and reinvests the remainder in a joint account. She tells him that she wants to save for their future because she loves him so much. Obviously, the man is impressed.

The man thinks for a long time about what each woman has done with the money he's given her.

Then, he marries the one with the biggest boobs. Men are like that, you know.

Snow everywhere, good to look at but .....

2007-02-08T16:39:00.000Z

it makes a right mess in London.

DH got Tolu to nursery just before 11am, I know it starts at 8am, and was told that due to them being short staffed, they could not take her. Now, why was I not called at the crack at dawn to warn me that my freedom day was cancelled this week? You see, I work on all the other days Tolu goes to nursery and this is the only day I am at home when she is at nursery. So you can understand my fury when DH called from nursery to say they could not take her.

I sensed the calm in his voice, which is a perfect complement to the storm that is his wife, me. I asked to speak to the lady who was there and the first thing she does was not to apologise but to say that there was nothing they could do. Well, red rag to a bull. I went off on my well known tirade that starts off with a polite reminder that nothing I am about to say is personal but I intend to shout.

Well I got my apology and nothing else, but a letter will be winging it's way to their office on Monday when I have had a chance to review the hastily written one that I am sure is libellous and includes death threats.

So, I had my daughter at home today and she really wanted to build a snowman. Snowman ko, I wanted to stay indoors with a good book, I have about 6 to read, and a hot chocolate complete with marshmallows. So we compromised and went outside, threw a few snowballs at imaginary bumblebees and spiders which she hates and came back in. I meant to take some photos but forgot the camera indoors and it was too cold to dawdle.

I also learnt a novel way to get her to eat some potatoes with her chicken. I reminded her that she loves crisps and they are made of potatoes. That worked for about 3 mouthfuls and the novelty wore off. Any ideas for broccoli and other veggie will be gratefully received.

So now, off to make some dinner and lament the loss of another freedom day. Roll on next week.

2007-02-04T14:10:00.000Z

In honour of the upcoming Valentines Day, apparently this is me.

You Follow Your Head

You're rational, collected, and logical.

Generally, it takes you quite a while to fall in love.

In fact, you've even been accused of being very picky.

While you're cool, you're not ice cold.

You just know what you want, and don't mind waiting to get it.

Do You Follow Your Head or Your Heart?

Tolu's First Non Naija Party

2007-02-03T23:13:00.000Z

Went to a birthday party today. James goes to the same nursery as my daughter and was 4; I bought a card for a 3 year old! I must have gone overboard on the presents though. Not wanting to appear a cheapskate and not wanting to buy loads, I hope I balanced out in the end.

Being a bit of a wallflower and determined that my daughter will have loads more social skills than I do, we went off in mingle mode. Tolu fell asleep in the car on the way there which was a bummer as she is usually grumpy when she wakes up. Serves her right for waking up at 2am this morning. I sent father and daughter downstairs so I could continue sleeping. Well after half a tub of ice cream last night, I needed my sleep.

Anyway, arrived only 5 minutes late, yippee, African time or should I say DH time did not prevail. And then I saw the difference between a Naija and non Naija party

Naija Party Venue: Large Hall
Non Naija Venue: Home

Naija Party Food
Jollof Rice, Fried Rice, meat, dodo, moinmoin
Load of drinks
Food for children usually an afterthought.
Cake, at least 3
Non Naija Food
Sandwiches
Crisps
Cake
Biscuits
Wine for adults

Naija Party Pack
Loads of sweeties and everything from a play buggy to bikes. Massive keeping up with the Jones here
Non Naija Party Pack
Piece of Cake
Some Sweeties
Bracelet

Having only had time for breakfast, I gulped down a glass of wine when I arrived for Dutch courage. Hmm. My daughter stuck to me for the first hour and then wandered off, grabbed the microphone from the entertainer and sang 2 verses of Baa Baa Black sheep. I thought there was only one. No wallflower here. As for me, I am a cheap drunk, can’t really recall all the small talk I made after only one glass of wine. Oh dear!

The Moral of the day, eat before you go to a pary, drink alcohol slowly and seriously consider a Non Naija party for Tolu’s next birthday

PS.
While getting ready for the party, the doorbell went and when I opened the door, the florist was standing there with a huge bunch of flowers. Ahh, I thought how nice. Unexpected flowers. And then she said, "Could you take this in for your neighbour, she is not answering the door" 1o seconds of bliss. Not bad eh?

This one’s for you Mum

2007-02-03T20:13:00.000Z

Where do I start? My mum is 75 years old today. I was the child of her old age, spoilt rotten. She instilled great values in all our children and brought us up, 5 girls, to be so self dependent. She does say she regrets that a bit as only 2 of us are married but I do prefer being self dependent any day.

My mum started her poultry farm with 24 chickens and one goat and never tires of telling us her grass to grace story whenever we stepped out of line and behaved like silver spoon children. She has a large farm now and keeps adding little hobbies to it. Plantation, snail farm, fish pond etc. She never tires and has refused to retire. She strived to send us to be best schools and her famous words are “Your education is your legacy”

I was going to list what Mum taught me but will have been here all night but all I know I owe to my mum. The very foundations of all I am and all I can be were laid by my mother. Anytime she was chided for spending her all on her children, she would say “To ri omo, ni mo se waiye” I was born for my children.

She does belong to the old school and we do fall out but I guess one has reached an age where I can tell mum to leave me be on some issues and she grudgingly agrees. Not for long though

My mum, my phenomenal woman. Happy Birthday. Olorun a je ki epe fun wa. Amin.

Valentines. To celebrate or not

2007-02-01T00:04:00.000Z

This is all bluntremi's fault. Blunremis valentines day gift ideas for men Valentines day is usually an anti climax in our house. I expect loads, I get disappointed as I get an afterthought bunch of flowers and I give a card/shirt/watch etc. Don't get me wrong, he does love me, I think.

Reading another of my fav blogs today, pilgrimage to self, I decided I was not unhappy with my life but not ecstatic either as I am definitely not where I thought I would be. Nobodys fault but mine, so I need to do something about it sharpish. Anyway, I digress.

So this year, I decided to give Valentines day a miss. I decided to truly forget about if and have zero expectations. I was doing quite well until, bluntremi's post in her blog and now I have too much to do and too little time to get my DH anything that requires the level of thought Remi expects me to put into the gifts. I did say I might get a teach yourself lapdancing/poledancing tape with seven veils but I have a long term houseguest!

Do you think I should go all out and make an effort or should I be the grinch who stole valentines and ignore it for the overcommercialised tosh it has become. Or is that just sour grapes?? Off to bed, nothing a visit to the land of Nod won’t make look better in the morning.

Cooking is a four letter word, at least for now

2007-01-28T17:41:00.000Z

I love cooking or should I say I used to love cooking. I loved cooking when I had enough time to pick the right ingredients and no distractions when I was in the kitchen all day. Now I burn rice, yup. That has destroyed a few of my pots and so I am bringing the rice cooker I was given as gift out of the loft. Friends hated cooking for me even when I was pregnant because they said I cooked so well and theirs was not up to scratch. Utter tosh, they were just being lazy :)

I am admitting defeat and ordering food enmasse from a new caterer recommended by my friend Omara. I could never order food except for parties etc and thought it decadent to order food for home from the caterer. I would order Dodo if I could because I absolutely hate frying the stuff. Just finished dinner and felt good to just make the eba and serve it with the stew from the caterer.

Will be posting a few of my recipes here in case I ever forget how to cook!

Off to bed. Must be old age. Going to bed at 9.30. Yikes or as my daughter said when we hit a rough patch on the road in Lagos, Yeepa. Not sure where she got that from :)

The end of the week

2007-01-26T23:35:00.000Z

A strange week... Started off in WW3 with the husband and we did make up after he apologised. I did savour the moment as it was the first time he has ever apologised :) So we made up but things have to change. There is a lot I need to sort out about myself, I do feel that I invested a lot of my time in studying and hoping to build a career and not sure if I feel fulfilled enough. Not really fair to give my husband 100% of the blame. So my voyage of self re-discovery starts now.

I have started looking around for my provisional driving license so I can start lessons, you are so lucky in blogsville as I will share all the nail biting details on the driving lessons with you. You just need to stay off the roads in North London on a Tuesday/Thursday. I have also chilled out a lot as there are some things I realise I need to let go and let God and have designated 2007 my stress free year.

Talking about stress free, my father in law arrived from Nigeria today and will be staying with us for 3 months. Yikes! All I can say is God loves a cheerful giver so I am looking for reasons to be cheerful if there are any going. Send me good vibes, please.

I decided not to have any resolutions this year and I never start at the very beginning of the year for the same reason that I do not start a diet or exercise regime on a Monday.

So,my goals this year are:

To seek God and to get back to where I used to be. God has not heard from the real me in a while.

To exercise more and eat less so I can lose weight. Quick fixes don’t work, slow and steady. A tummy tuck is an option though. Will wait till after second child.

To make an effort. Wearing baggy t-shirts and track bottoms and smelling of fried stew is not a turn on. Hmm. Might never fry Dodo again. Is it decadent to order fried dodo or how do I fry it without the smell??

To make sure all the DIY is finished at home. We have been living here for 3 years now. Might have to hire somebody. DH is good but takes his time.

To have more sex with my husband and to want to. Fatigue is a state of mind. I hear zinc is good for improving ones sex drive. Might have to overdose initially!

To use my time more effectively. Put some sort of structure in place

To increase my earning potential by growing the business and working more hours in my part time job.

To get pregnant. About time too. Will be 36 when the child is born if everything goes to plan but I must learn how to drive and lose some weight before I get pregnant. Need motivation.

To read more and listen to more of my odd music as my husband calls it. The Carpenters, Van the Man (Morrison), Cat Stevens, Take That, Andrea Bocelli and to discover new odd musicians. Running out of music from the old ones.

Enjoy the weekend. Tomorrow, we will be traipsing around Ikea, putting up a shed in the back garden and trying to declutter. Considering hiring a skip so I can get rid of all the baggage and garbage I have been lugging around for years.

We are all the same

2007-01-22T17:17:00.000Z

I was in Lagos over Christmas and saw and read all the news about the petrol pipeline explosion. Everyone agreed that poverty and greed led people to sabotage the pipeline and siphon the fuel to make a quick buck.

Due to the bad weather in England at the moment, a container ship containing dangerous chemicals and containers of goods is in danger of running aground off the Devon coast. Goods have been floating ashore and people have been scavenging for the goods, endangering their lives as we do not know what effects the chemicals will have. Greed and poverty again??

Good to know that the people in developed and developing world are all the same. Anything for a quick buck.

And the penny dropped...

2007-01-21T14:47:00.000Z

...from a great height and hit me with a resounding bang.

I love my husband and care about his feelings more that he does mine. Why the journey to Damascus revelation? Many things have happened over the years and I have shaken them off but last night was the last straw.

Friends of ours were having a party for their daughter and I stayed home as my sister was coming over for the weekend with her children. Anyway a party for one year old twins should finish early right? Wrong, at midnight, I called DH to ask where he was and he mentioned that he was in a pub with some friends. No problem, more gisting time with my sis. At around 2am, I was about to go to bed and decided to see if he was alright as we had had really bad weather in London with trees falling over and flattening cars. Anyway kept trying intermittently between 2 and 5am, with no response, and was beside myself with worry.

Then DH saunters in and asks why I was not asleep! Now, don't get me wrong, I do like my husband going out as I love "me time" but there is an air of irresponsibility and my being taken for granted. He has been out about 3 nights this week and I knew he would be late then so I went to bed but getting home at 5am from a party for 2 one year olds. Well that is taking the piss just a bit.

So my dilemma, or as Jade from Big Brother's mum says, my dimella is Should I stay or should I go. It does seem like killing a fly with a sledgehammer but this has niggled for a long time. You know the little niggles that equate to looking back at life and regretting the complacent and steady life devoid of spark and passion. This lack of consideration, which has in the past being inconsequential, was the last straw. Hmm, I wonder....

My trip back home

2007-01-14T12:45:00.000Z

We decided to go home to Nigeria as my brother in law was getting married and we had decided to go at least once a year so our daughter could get a feel for home. Boy, did she get a feel for home. So much space and attention, she has come back a right little madam.

We usually stay with my mum in Ibadan but the wedding was in Lagos and we stayed with my MIL. Lagos was such fun. I must admit that Ibadan is soooo boring and my mum was quite peeved as I spent Christmas and New Year in Lagos. Out went the traditional Christmas Roast with all the trimmings complete with Christmas Crackers and funny hats. This was replaced with Pounded Yam and Ogbono at a place called Da Grotto in VI. Yum. Decided to eat out as much as we could on the trip so we went to:

Roberts Café for Breakfast.
Da Grotto
Churassco (sp) Lovely barbecue buffet.
Pearl Gardens and was it Golden Gate Not sure, was a Chinese restaurant
Terra Kulture
Some Café place in the palms
M Bar or is it M Café in Galleria
Loads of Agege bread with Ikoyi Hotel Suya (The hotel is no longer there)

Next time we go, I might try some bukas. Did not try them this time as I did now want to spend must of my holidays in the loo. All that eating was not kind to my waistline, so I will be back on the low carb wagon.

Had a great time in Lagos and have never prayed so much in London! We had an army driver seconded to us for our trip and the power they still hold amazed me. Once we were driving in a convoy and the convoy was separated as we had to stop at a junction with traffic police. The army driver promptly leapt out of the leader car and came to direct traffic so we could catch up. The two police men at the junction were not amused but there was little they could do. On another occasion, we were going to queue for petrol as there was the usual shortage around Christmas. The driver drove in through the exit, went to the front of the queue and clapped twice to summon the attendants to sell to him. I had to hide my head for shame.

I am sure I have lost my train of thought, had to stop to put a last minute bid for an item on ebay which I won.

All in all, a great time was had by all and we intend to go as soon as the election fever wears off sometime in April/May. We were actually going to go back in February for my mum’s birthday but she said not to :( Any ideas of where to go in Lagos and Ibadan will be great.

And so I begin

2007-01-13T17:16:00.000Z

Decided to join the blogging community even though I am not so sure I have anything to say. Hey, Ho, we must all start somewhere. So here goes....

At home alone at the moment, which in itself is bliss as I am married with a 3 year old daughter. So why do I feel guilty that I am lounging and not running around like a blue bottomed fly?? Must learn to relax more.

No resolutions this year except to take each day at it comes and make them up as I go along. Will be kinder and more open to random acts of kindness.

Came back from a 3 week trip to Nigeria last week. The place breaks my heart. The Nigeria of my youth is totally gone and has been replaced by a short-termist (sp) economy. Now in Nigeria, if you are born poor, chances are you will die poor. Feel blessed that we are comfortable, but at what cost?? Will write more on my trip later

Off to get ready to run around like a blue bottomed fly, my boss(3 year old daughter) is coming home soon :)