Confessions of a Mad Driver

I am absolutely loving the freedom driving gives me and I earnestly urge anyone out there who can't drive to get a move on. I confess to being an absolute prat for not driving earlier on and letting my irrational fear hold me to ransom. So I have driven everywhere on my own and with Lopes and even braved the motorway where I overtook a friend who I accused of driving too slowly! Before journeys with Lopes, I say extra prayers. I cannot promise not to wax lyrical about driving so apologies for the boredom my blog will no doubt cause. I now think of my life Before Driving (BD) and After Driving (AD)


A trip I made on Monday will be used to show the massive difference it has made.

BD.
Take Bus to station. Take Taxi to friend's house and ask driver to wait while I drop Lopes off and then take me to work. Fret about the needless amount of money spent. Finish work, take bus to station, get Taxi to friend's house, pick up Lopes, take taxi back to station and take bus home. Get so cross that I have spent over £35 on taxis and get home and eat loads of comfort food. Estimated time spent in transit. 2 hours


AD.
Drive to friend's house, get lost on the way and stop to key in address into Sat Nav. Realise that it is impossible to remember old directions or places I have been driven to at least one hundred times. (Note to self. Key in all addresses into Sat Nav memory) Drop Lopes off, drive to work, park in my newly alloted parking space, get lost in the multistorey car pack, (who thought it was clever to put the exit on level 3 instead of level 1??). Leave work, pick Lopes up and head home. Estimated time spent in transit. 30 minutes


Lopes starts school tomorrow. And so we decided to go and pick up all the little bits I had forgotten, get the car washed and go to lunch at Lopes' favourite chinese restaurant. In my rush, I left the keys inside the house and closed the door. Hot footed it to my inlaws who have a spare key, offering prayers and making promises to God after forgetting to slow down for a speed camera, picked up the spare key and then rushed back home. Found out to my utter consternation that the keys were on the inside of the door and so I could not open the door with the key outside. So what have I learnt today.... I can break into my own house with a spanner and file and brute force and long distance breaking and entering instructions from BabaLopes :) Now I need an alarm system!

PS, Huge bruise on my posterior. I guess weight loss has melted away some of the excess and so trying to bash the door down with my backside is now a thing of the past!

Home Alone :)

Home Alone Diary.

Dropped Lopes at my sister's place on Tuesday evening after a mad dash day which started with my last driving lesson before my test on Thursday. Had to take Lopes with me as my childcare plans were thrown awry by good GSCE results for my niece. She decided to go for a party weekend. (Congrats to ZR and DD for excellent results)

So came back home and sat in the very untidy sitting room as we left in a rush. Caught up on phone calls and had dinner with an alcoholic drink and watched all the CSIs and Law and order. Fell asleep with my cordless headphones on. You must understand that I do not drink most times and never at home unless it's kind of social and never, ever when home with Lopes as I am the world's cheapest drunk and get inebriated by the vapours alone!

Woke up on Wednesday morning when the newspaper boy delivered the papers and actually read it from cover to cover for the first time in ages. Had a slice toast in bed complete with crumbs and then went back to bed. And then did absolutely nothing all day.

I think every Mum needs to declare one week a year, Mum Home Alone Week. Great to recharge batteries and just regroup before you start running on empty.

Thursday dawned and off to the test. Jitters, jitters and even more jitters. 40 minutes later and I could kiss the very patient examiner. I passed. Off to upgrade car insurance and revel in the fact that I can drive my daughter to school for her first day. Thank you, God.

A whole month has passed. Where has the time gone??

So Mama Kemi arrived and brought sooooooo much food. Not too good for my weight update but I got to 88kgs and then ate fresh fish soup, ila asepo and more orisirisi. I feel the weight creeping back up and so have decided to hop back on the wagon. But then had moin moin and ogi for breakfast. A little of what you like is not bad for you, abi? Will not weigh myself again for a while, lest I eat more in fits of depression.

Statements/Questions I hear from MamaKemi almost everyday. What is Lopes going to eat? Has she had her protein, milk, snack ...

Do you have food in the freezer for your husband. What will he eat when he gets back

When I was raising children, we had a set routine. etc etc etc

And the list goes on. Might have to drink more brandy :)


Went shopping with my mum which cemented my hatred of shopping! Boy can my mum haggle. Went to her favourite fabric shop and got 3 5yd pieces of lace from £700 to £360 without blinking. I was cringing at the back of the shop trying to keep a straight face. We had fun though.

Lopes had 3 weeks of summer school and came away learning loads more words and her writing is great. Good feedback from the teachers but I hear she has a stubborn streak. The apple does not fall far from the tree. I was not a stubborn child but I am more than making up for it now :) We got our routine sorted so it'll be easy when she starts big school in 2 weeks. Note to self. Get out sewing kit and sew on name tags.

BabaLopes is still enjoying his sojourn in the land of Belge! I hate to admit that I do enjoy the solitude a bit too much. Lopes and I just get on with it and when I am asked if I miss him, the first answer is no. I do miss him but that does not define me or occupy my thoughts for long. Should the alarm bells start ringing?

Countdown to driving test underway. I am just a tad impatient at roundabouts and have been known to set off in a huff when cars are whizzing towards me. A lot of emergency braking by my instructor. I have told her to slap me next time but she has great restraint. Less than a week to go. Yikes. Just have to imagine the examiner in the buff and try not to crash into the cars for laughing.

So the very disjointed update from La Famiglia Lopes is done. Will be here next week to let you know how the test went. Better keep me in your good thoughts and prayers, else I will find you and put spiders in all your cereal boxes!

Why can't I think of a catchy title?

Lopes and I managed just fine without BabaLopes for the week but my mum called me everyday to check we were okay :) Not sure if absence makes the heart grow fonder but it's early days yet. The downside is the lack of good sleep. Since I am the only one at home, I feel I have to be able to hear if Lopes needs me, so I don't really sleep well. On Wednesday the driving instructor made me go home to bed after driving for an hour. So in the last week, I have spent all my money on taxis and so happy that the driving is coming along nicely. I just need to drive a bit more slowly and pay more attention to other road users. I blame my Nigerian pomposity, my attitude to other drivers is "Do you know who I am?"

I drew up a food timetable for Lopes as I sometimes run out of ideas and find we are eating the same things. It is an excellent idea, even if I say so myself. Means I can plan ahead and she gets to expand her food field for want of a better description.


Went to the shops today to shop for a dress for a wedding we are going to on Saturday and returned with one cake for Lopes' last day at nursery, a new pair of shoes for Lopes for school and some mini bagels for Lopes. Get the picture?? Nothing for me, not even a dress. Yikes what am I going to wear? We decided to have a meal at the shopping centre and Lopes spied the McDonalds sign and then the pizza hut sign. I decided that we needed to up the culture stakes so went to a grill like place where she could get wholesome burgers and I could get some low carb food. The homemade burger arrived and Lopes took one sniff of it and said "We are going to McDonalds next time" Serves me right. She could have had a happy meal with a fruit bags and I would have had my grilled chicken salad.

Weight update
Start 102ks
27 May 93kgs
26 June 92.8kgs
10 July 90kgs.
20 July 89kgs.

Slowing down now so I need to up the exercise.

So all in all, a good few days. Off to curl up in bed with the telephone. Thank God it only cost 0.5p a minute to call BabaLopes.

And so the theory test date came and went and then the date came again!

A great start to July.

BabaLopes has got a new occupation and will be off to working away during the week and home either every weekend or every forthnight. Absence makes the heart grow fonder. Really happy as space can be a positive thing. Also this credit crunch is only palatable when served with luxury so all's well that ends's well.

Driving update.
I took my theory test about 6 years ago and then that test expired. Booked another one for the 20th of June but thought the date was the 21st and so I missed the test. Well, having swotted long and hard, I made my way to the test centre and on the way decided to read the back of the letter I was sent. Found out to my shock and horror that there was a hazard perception test introduced and I would have to watch 14 videos and click when I saw a developing hazard. Had enough time to offer many prayers. Went in and finished the test. 100% in the theory and 78% in the hazard perception. It seems my brain has remembered the days of yore when I was a hot chick. So practical test booked for..... Watch this space :)

Weight update

Start 102ks

27 May 93kgs

26 June 92.8kgs
10 July 90Kgs.

Getting better now. End of July target still 85kg. We'll see. Cut out all processed carbs and sugar. Still have slow release carbs and meat and veg. Yum. This is the lowest weight I have been for over 5 years!

Will leave you with my new favourite song. Ignore the video and just listen to the words. I am indeed a child of old age!

And the story so far

So the driving instructor lost her grandad and postponed on me but she arrived a few weeks later and I braved the roads of North London and drove for 2 hours. She pronounced me teachable and so far I have had 2, 2 hour lessons and have driven BabaLopes to and from the shops. He seems to want to get used to being a passenger. I do hate roundabouts and I have scratched the alloys on the front tyre. See I am picking up driver speak. What the heck are alloys?

I moved a car and lived to tell the tale. I can see a hidden Speedy Gonzales begin to surface as my foot has a mind of it's own and sort of presses the gas extra hard. I am driving an automatic and so don't need clutch and gears etc. Anyway, I have banished the scary spectre of driving and I believe that I can do it. I do have to subdue my road rage tendencies as a mad lady hooted at me and overtook and I promptly stepped on the gas and wanted to give chase until the driving instructor calmed me down :)

Lopes had settling in at her new school and I confess that I have become an "let's do coffee" mum. Was fun though and I realised that I can be as sociable as they come. Next step will be a ladies who lunch move. Can't wait.

Also a dear friend of mine had a lovely baby boy. I need to get broody but I just can't yet. Help!

Weight update

Start 102ks

27 May 93kgs

Now 92.8kgs (I ate too much coconut candy and tea and biscuit and did no exercise) I am having a fat couple of days as I have ate too much puff puff at the naming ceremony yesterday! Was fun though.

End of July target 85kgs. Off to make some prawns and fish pepper soup.

PS. Can you keep a secret. Got some tickets for Lopes and she and I are going to see High School Musical at the theatre. I will be the mum with the HSM pom poms and singing like the best of them. Please don't tell Lopes as she will bug me till we go.

Tolu's prayer

Tolu's prayer;

Please Jesus, you know how to drive. Help my mummy to drive because you have Daddy power.

There you have it. I am sorted for my first driving lesson tomorrow morning at 8am. I will report on my progress. As Dr Naaps said, morons drive so there is hope for me :)

Have been great and having fun sorting out Tolu's room and putting up new pink curtains and things. You see, before she was born, we were so sure we were having a boy that we put up dark blue curtains. Well thankfully we had a girl (I would advise all to pray for a girl as a first child) and she has firmly decided her favourite colour is pink. She liked purple, then yellow and orange and has now settled on pink and gold. So the carpet has been washed, curtains up and we are putting up massive flower stickers on the walls as my mural artwork leaves a lot to be desired.

I spy the sun and as I have been instructed by Hassan the gardener to water the plants, we are off in wellies and raincoat so Tolu can have a splash.

Diet update.
Starting weight 102kg (all in the backside and tummy) Have spindly legs and it's a wonder I don't fall over backwards.
Fell off wagon, gained 2kgs, Back on wagon lost 1kgs. Net loss 9kgs.
Current weight 93kgs
Target for end of July 85kgs.

I would never have believed that I would put actual figures up here, but what the hey. It's all good.

Driving update

Honest, I am not making it up. Received a text from the driving instructor on Friday morning that her grandfather passed away during the night. Really wanted to have gotten it over and done with as I did not really sleep due to the nerves. You would think I was going for a test and not a lesson.