Ahhh. It's being a long 6 months since my Dad died and most of the days have been good and then some days have been downright awful. You never know how hard it'll hit till it happens. My Dad was almost 90 but even that has not made it easier.
So I''ll send him a little message. ( Please humour me, no one really reads the blogs now anyway :)
Hey Dad, we are all good. Would be better if we had just one more conversation. Your granddaughter is doing well at school, amazingly she is also doing well in gymnastics and in music. Those talents must have skipped so many generations!!
Your grandson will be 2 next week. A bit worried as he is not speaking yet. Could you have a word with God and him, please? It does worry me immensely.
Remembrance Sunday was quite moving today as I could finally feel what others who have lost someone feels. An empty hole that you hope will fill up in time but gets smaller but never really goes away.
O digbe re, Ipade doju ala. Love you Pops.
Sunday, 13 November 2011
Tuesday, 31 May 2011
Bye Daddy
On the 7th of May, my darling Dad went on ahead. You see, I was the last child for about 20 years and I absolutely loved my Daddy. We sometimes went for ages without speaking and then will speak regularly. It all happened so quickly as Dad gave us 7 days to bury him so I had to go to Nigeria in a mad hurry.
A few months ago, Dad phoned and said his favourite slippers were on their way out. I had bought him 2 pairs as he liked them and wore them everyday and both pairs lasted about 7 years. So I began my search for another pair and could not find them anywhere. I sent a replacement and he said they were a bit tight and I said they would stretch as they were leather. He also wanted some underwear and I got him 6 sets. When we went to pick Dad up on the morning of the wake keeping, they dressed him and put him in one of the underwear sets I sent home. I wish I had dropped a note in the coffin, though I am not sure what I would have written on it.
On top of my freezer, I think I have a pack of Clan tobacco. Dad used to smoke a pipe and that smell in an air conditioned room transports me back. I forgot to send them home in the last parcel and was going to send them with the next person going home. One day when I am strong enough, I will burn a bit of the tobacco just to smell my dad.
I spoke to him the day before he died, and I knew he could hear me but I could not really hear him. My last words were, ,"I will call you in the morning. I love you Daddy" We always ended our phone calls with me saying "I love you Daddy" and my Dad will say "Thank you". You see, he was old school and would never say I love you. Instead he showed it. I remember my love of reading started because my Dad always made me read and bought me loads of books. He used to get me the encyclopedia for my age set and I am still looking for the set I had when I was about 7. He used to read to me and our favourite shared book was King Solomons mines. I read the book every couple of years and I am due another read but I cannot bring myself to read it. One day, I might.
Dad was always huge on education and effort. Apparently, I have his hands and look the most like him. Can't really see it myself but I find myself looking in the mirror now trying to spot all the similarities. For now, I have good days where I function well enough and then desperately bad days, where waking up is such a chore. It hurts so violently and I find myself wishing I could just hide away for a while. But life must go on and the children need me.
My overriding fear is that I will forget the sound of his voice and all his little quirks. He had a habit of fiddling with his ring and tapping it whenever he was bored. He always walked very fast and I remember running after him, trying to keep up with his strides when he was going to the office. I used to go along to read and drink tea and biscuits with the secretary. He had an expressive smile and deep belly laugh and he used to eat pounded yam with a fork and knife. For an Ondo man, he never ate with his hands :)
I wish I did not believe in God so much as I desperately want to consult a psychic. I just want to say hello and have Dad say hello back. Is that too much to ask?
A few months ago, Dad phoned and said his favourite slippers were on their way out. I had bought him 2 pairs as he liked them and wore them everyday and both pairs lasted about 7 years. So I began my search for another pair and could not find them anywhere. I sent a replacement and he said they were a bit tight and I said they would stretch as they were leather. He also wanted some underwear and I got him 6 sets. When we went to pick Dad up on the morning of the wake keeping, they dressed him and put him in one of the underwear sets I sent home. I wish I had dropped a note in the coffin, though I am not sure what I would have written on it.
On top of my freezer, I think I have a pack of Clan tobacco. Dad used to smoke a pipe and that smell in an air conditioned room transports me back. I forgot to send them home in the last parcel and was going to send them with the next person going home. One day when I am strong enough, I will burn a bit of the tobacco just to smell my dad.
I spoke to him the day before he died, and I knew he could hear me but I could not really hear him. My last words were, ,"I will call you in the morning. I love you Daddy" We always ended our phone calls with me saying "I love you Daddy" and my Dad will say "Thank you". You see, he was old school and would never say I love you. Instead he showed it. I remember my love of reading started because my Dad always made me read and bought me loads of books. He used to get me the encyclopedia for my age set and I am still looking for the set I had when I was about 7. He used to read to me and our favourite shared book was King Solomons mines. I read the book every couple of years and I am due another read but I cannot bring myself to read it. One day, I might.
Dad was always huge on education and effort. Apparently, I have his hands and look the most like him. Can't really see it myself but I find myself looking in the mirror now trying to spot all the similarities. For now, I have good days where I function well enough and then desperately bad days, where waking up is such a chore. It hurts so violently and I find myself wishing I could just hide away for a while. But life must go on and the children need me.
My overriding fear is that I will forget the sound of his voice and all his little quirks. He had a habit of fiddling with his ring and tapping it whenever he was bored. He always walked very fast and I remember running after him, trying to keep up with his strides when he was going to the office. I used to go along to read and drink tea and biscuits with the secretary. He had an expressive smile and deep belly laugh and he used to eat pounded yam with a fork and knife. For an Ondo man, he never ate with his hands :)
I wish I did not believe in God so much as I desperately want to consult a psychic. I just want to say hello and have Dad say hello back. Is that too much to ask?
Sunday, 28 November 2010
Where has the year gone???
Anybody out there??
Time really flies when you are having fun or in my case severely sleep deprived. Fems is one year old now. Yikes, can't believe I have been away from here for this long. I blame the demise of most of my favourite bloggers and the lack of time to discover news ones.
Sooooo, fill me in on all the gist, please, please, please. Till I catch up, I have to live vicariously through all of you.
Will pop in again. Snow has been forecast for London. Hoping it won't affect Lopes' party. She will be 7 soon. Na wah o. I am becoming an old mum. All's good sha.
Will be back soon xx
Time really flies when you are having fun or in my case severely sleep deprived. Fems is one year old now. Yikes, can't believe I have been away from here for this long. I blame the demise of most of my favourite bloggers and the lack of time to discover news ones.
Sooooo, fill me in on all the gist, please, please, please. Till I catch up, I have to live vicariously through all of you.
Will pop in again. Snow has been forecast for London. Hoping it won't affect Lopes' party. She will be 7 soon. Na wah o. I am becoming an old mum. All's good sha.
Will be back soon xx
Thursday, 24 December 2009
And we have a baby.....
Boy :)
Born almost 5 weeks ago weighing 6lbs. Lopes is absolutely enamoured and if he had a penny for every kiss from her, he would give Bill Gates a run for his money!
He will be known as Thomas which is the name Lopes gave him when I was pregnant. I found out it means Twin and never has a name being so true. He looks so much like her when she was his age and they even have the same mannerisms. So far, 2-nil as none of my children look like me. As we are not having any more, I guess I have to be happy that my children have my complexion! With each pregnancy, we prayed that God should take the best from each parent and add whatever we are lacking in to give us the best package. Needless to say, none of my children have my temper! Thank God for that, as I am the trouble maker in our household!
So apart from sleep deprivation an Thomas creating his own hole in the ozone layer due to his wind from both ends, we are getting ready for Christmas.
In the meantime. Lopes turned 6 and had a lovely party when Thomas was 2 weeks. Not bad after a complicated section with forceps!
So 4 weeks later, I am at least 4kgs less than I was just after I had him. Off for last minute Christmas shopping. Tree not up yet and it's Christmas eve!
Enjoy. Eat, drink and be merry, for tomorrow the merriment continues!
Born almost 5 weeks ago weighing 6lbs. Lopes is absolutely enamoured and if he had a penny for every kiss from her, he would give Bill Gates a run for his money!
He will be known as Thomas which is the name Lopes gave him when I was pregnant. I found out it means Twin and never has a name being so true. He looks so much like her when she was his age and they even have the same mannerisms. So far, 2-nil as none of my children look like me. As we are not having any more, I guess I have to be happy that my children have my complexion! With each pregnancy, we prayed that God should take the best from each parent and add whatever we are lacking in to give us the best package. Needless to say, none of my children have my temper! Thank God for that, as I am the trouble maker in our household!
So apart from sleep deprivation an Thomas creating his own hole in the ozone layer due to his wind from both ends, we are getting ready for Christmas.
In the meantime. Lopes turned 6 and had a lovely party when Thomas was 2 weeks. Not bad after a complicated section with forceps!
So 4 weeks later, I am at least 4kgs less than I was just after I had him. Off for last minute Christmas shopping. Tree not up yet and it's Christmas eve!
Enjoy. Eat, drink and be merry, for tomorrow the merriment continues!
Wednesday, 30 September 2009
Monday, 31 August 2009
Bank Holiday at the Lopes
Lopes:
PS. Just had to add this from Lopes. "Mummy do you want millions, gazillions or amenity"??? Apparently amenity is not a number but a kind of number. The largest one. I think she means infinity!
“I don’t know what I want to be, A doctor, a dentist, a hairdresser, a p.e teacher, a teacher or just a mummy. But a mummy is boring. That’s what you are, just a mummy”
Ouch, says mummy who has 2 jobs as an analyst, runs an online business and is also “Just a mummy”
Later as she was about to make herself some toast, she asked where the bread was. I said it was in a carrier bag in the kitchen as I had brought it out of the bread bin earlier. After looking for about 10 minutes, (I need to tell you how she looks for things; just like I did as a child) she came back annoyed that it was not in a carrier bag but out of the bag. I apologised and she said, “Don’t worry, you were just confused”
Oh dear. I must be doing something wrong.
Then again, I must be doing something right as she wrote me this note.
"I love you mummy, you are the best mummy in the whole world. Tolu, Daddy and baby." This is verbatim but she kept asking me how to spell world. Her writing is getting better and it is something I definitely want to improve as my handwriting is absolutely illegible!
Back to her searching abilities.
When I was younger, my mum would send me to her room to get something. After searching for 2 minutes, I would go back downstairs and say I did not find it. I will get sent back up to look again, then go back down to say I did not find it. Depending on how much patience my mum had at the time, I would get sent back a few times but it always ended with a threat that if she came upstairs and found it, I was in deep trouble. I usually found it after that! Now history is repeating itself. My mum says it’s payback time. Also added to payback time is Lope’s inability to eat “wet” cereal which means she has a bowl of dry cereal and a glass of milk on the side!
One thing I refuse to add to payback is Lopes' ability to give a running commentary on absolutely everything. Men, can she talk and sometimes it gets a bit too wearing and I find myself going to hide in the Loo which gives me a minute before she demands what I am doing there.
Here in the Lopes abode, it’s everyman for himself. BabaLopes does his own laundry as he does not trust me to do it as he likes. He is fussy about temperatures and detergents and fabric conditioner while I am happy that a wash is complete if it has clothes, detergent and conditioner. He, on the other hand, has different detergents for different fabrics and I have too many loads to wash so everything gets washed at 40 degrees with non-bio detergent and sensitive fabric conditioner.
I am digressing every which way. Anyway, GrandmaLopes asked Lopes to make some toast and I was so sure that she won’t have a clue. Boy was I wrong! As well as Lopes talking 19 to the dozen she follows everything going on around her with eagle eyes. She is getting quite resourceful and loves washing the doors and floors (of her own free will, before I get reported to child services) and is beginning to ask if she can load the dishwasher :)
Any errors on this posting are due to two things. My brain is going too fast and I just poured a full cup of water on my laptop keyboard.PS. Just had to add this from Lopes. "Mummy do you want millions, gazillions or amenity"??? Apparently amenity is not a number but a kind of number. The largest one. I think she means infinity!
Saturday, 4 July 2009
Deep thoughts
And I thought I had escaped deep introspections for a while as I had the baby to think about.
Went out to a friend's for a dinner party with a subset of my sista friends. Deep questions that made me think about certain things for the first time and this song sums up my thoughts..
I hope some good answers come through and that they do not lead to more questions.
Off to bed. It's 12.42am and I am teaching in Sunday School tomorrow :) That will definitely cheer me up. Children have a way about making things easier.
Went out to a friend's for a dinner party with a subset of my sista friends. Deep questions that made me think about certain things for the first time and this song sums up my thoughts..
I hope some good answers come through and that they do not lead to more questions.
Off to bed. It's 12.42am and I am teaching in Sunday School tomorrow :) That will definitely cheer me up. Children have a way about making things easier.
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