Please sell me some fish

No not obokun or tilapia :) Just some goldfish.

5 years ago, when we moved into our home, my sister gave me a brand new fish tank. BabaLopes always had highfalutin plans like making holes in walls and embedding things while I think we should just put it on a stand. So for 5 years the tank languished on top of the fridge/freezer while we tried to reach a compromise.

Please let me digress a bit. The fridge/freezer in question is one of those huge American fridge freezers that dispense water and ice. How I wish it will clean itself and make dinner. Anyway, when the freezer men delivered the freezer, we noticed that the door could not open fully as there was a wall in the way. My solution: Return it and buy a smaller more sensible fridge. BabaLopes' solution: Break down a piece of the wall in the way and refuse to do the finishing touches for yonks afterwards. So you see my wahala with installing anything new. Same with the new telly, I agreed we could drill holes in the wall, put a new bracket it and hang the telly on the wall but I refused to have any holes in the wall for the wires to be embedded in the wall. Digression over.

As we had half term looming, I realised that I could not be the only source of entertainment in the house and decided to set up the fish tank and get some fish as some sort of science lesson. Read up on the trusty google and realised it was not as simple as just filling up the tank with water and throwing a few fish in. You have to set up the water, gravel, plants and ornaments and put in a water treatment chemical and then let it all run for 7 days. Not one to listen to instructions, I just put the water in with the water treatment and then set it up to run. After a few days I realised that the inbuilt filter was not working and decided to get a standalone replacement and the ornaments and gravel.

So I met Gav at the pet shop and £40 later we left the shop with some plants, gravel, a filter and an ornament in which the fish can hide when they are bored of being looked at. Got home, set it all up and then today, 5 days later, decided to go and get some fish. I saw Gav again and blatantly ignored his offer of help in case he remembered us. He did, came up and refused to sell me fish even tough I was economical with the truth and pretended we had tested the water and all was fine with the water. He said No. I did point out that dead fish meant more business for them, but he still refused to sell me the fish and told me to come back on Monday! (Note to self. You can't lie to save your life so don't even try!) Hmph.

Ah well, I had to make some chocolate crispies with sweeties on top as entertainment in lieu of goldfish.

Ps. We went to get goldfish. But they had at least 12 tanks with all sorts of coldwater fish. I want some algae eaters that stick to the tank, keeping it clean and Lopes wants pink fish. Help! Any suggestions welcome. I have told Lopes that fish do not last forever so she is expecting them all to die after a month and we have a budget for fish replacement.